| Drug Addiction Forum |
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Drug and alcohol addiction recovery forums.
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Re: Just Gets On My Nerves!!!
04/20/2008 04:41 AM
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Unfortunately that's part of the dreadful youth culture that seems to be developing. Binge drinking is becoming a serious problem, both from a health and a social perspective.
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Re: Is Cannabis Addictive?
04/20/2008 04:39 AM
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I think we're getting off the subject of whether cannibis is addictive or not. The subject of it's legality is a seperate issue.
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Re: Social Pressure
04/20/2008 04:34 AM
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Although I welcome smoking bans in public places where passive smoking can affect others, I don't welcome the idea of pushing smokers further away from their workplace. When I was a non smoker in an office full of smokers, I always seemed to behind the times in terms of news because the smokers would discuss stuff whilst they were on smoke breaks.
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Re: AA
04/20/2008 04:28 AM
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I don't think anyone who attends a meeting can be considered a poseur, because attending a meeting implies some sort of need. OK someone might attend a meeting once or twice just out of curiousity, but they won't stay the course.
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Re: How did you recover?
04/20/2008 04:22 AM
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I think that one can be relate the lifestyle to the substance, so if you can be totally commited to changing the lifestyle then freeing yourself from addicition to the substance becomes easier.
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Re: Is Cannabis Addictive?
04/18/2008 10:01 PM
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Serenity wrote:I think the fact that it gives some relief to MS sufferers is reason enough to make it legal or at the very least available on prescription. It was proven way back almost a decade ago in Great Britain to help control tremors. I've never seen anyone smoke a joint and be anything less than mellowed out. Even if it is in fact addictive, there's worse drugs you could be addicted to than that.
I tend to agree. I've seen people that are 'too' mellowed out by it or doing crazy things while they're high, that's for sure, but I've also seen the side effects of some prescription drugs that are just as bad, so what's the difference?
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Re: Solvant Abuse
04/18/2008 09:58 PM
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I think most people tend to move onto other things if they start with "playing around with" various solvents. At least personally, that's been my experience with watching drug users. They start with things like that and end up moving to others or just not doing it any more. They never seem to stick to this kind.
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Re: Meth Rehab?
04/18/2008 09:57 PM
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I don't usually hear many cases of people getting seriously hooked on those either, though. Well, at least not in the same way that people get hooked on meth.
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Re: Solvant Abuse
04/18/2008 01:59 PM
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I think that this is what the call "huffing" here in the States? I cannot imagine some of the stuff that they are inhaling. I don't know much about it though.
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Re: Codependency
04/18/2008 01:50 PM
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Thank you, you're guys experiences and posts have helped a lot. I think looking back the thing that really is hard are the times that we were really young and my Mom turned such a blind eye so to speak that my Father would even have us in the car while he was drunk. I don't blame my Mom or anything like that it is just so hard sometimes to see how far someone would go to hide their loved ones addiction. In the end I have learned a lot and love my parents to death. I have taken what I have learned and applied it to raising my children.
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Re: Social Pressure
04/16/2008 07:20 AM
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When my step-dad's work banned smoking on the job, he quit because that would mean he would be having cigarette withdrawals at work, and that would effect his work. I think that in cases such as these, it does work. I guess it all depends on what the person is willing to give up, and for what.
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Re: Just Gets On My Nerves!!!
04/16/2008 07:19 AM
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It really does bother me to hear people talking about their drinking and bragging. I just don't see why drinking that much is so cool!
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Solvant Abuse
04/16/2008 02:33 AM
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I think we should have a thread about solvant abuse. Is it still as rampant a problem as we were hearing years ago in the States? Where I live (UK) we don't hear much about it, but I know it's an issue. Any thoughts?
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Re: Did Medication Help?
04/16/2008 02:30 AM
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My brother-in-law took Antabuse during his recovery and was successful. He's been alcohol free for years and years now. But, I think you're right in saying it's got more to do with the person recovering than the medication itself.
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Just Gets On My Nerves!!!
04/16/2008 02:27 AM
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What absolutely does get on my nerves are people who brag about how much they've had to drink the night before and somehow think it's something to be proud of! I'd call it denial!
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Re: Social Pressure
04/16/2008 02:24 AM
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we too are part of the no smoking in public ban. I'm a smoker and while I'm trying to quit (not because of the new bans), i've not noticed any sort of social pressure on smokers to give up just because of the laws.
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Re: Did Medication Help?
04/15/2008 06:41 PM
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My ex husband took Antabuse and it was a miserable failure. It was not the drug's fault in any way though. While the medication itself did what it was supposed to, which was make him violently sick if he touched alcohol, he just got around it by stopping taking it.  If however someone took it as they were meant to be taking it, I think it'd be a good deterrent.
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Re: Is Cannabis Addictive?
04/15/2008 06:26 PM
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I think the fact that it gives some relief to MS sufferers is reason enough to make it legal or at the very least available on prescription. It was proven way back almost a decade ago in Great Britain to help control tremors. I've never seen anyone smoke a joint and be anything less than mellowed out. Even if it is in fact addictive, there's worse drugs you could be addicted to than that.
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Re: Codependency
04/15/2008 04:53 PM
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tater03 wrote:Honestly I think that my Mom's hiding it from everyone and denying the problem hurt her more mentally then anything. She was more of a babysitter then she was a wife. As a daughter that was hard to watch. I understand why she went the route she did but I just wish that we all would have been more open with each other about the problem. I mean my Mom had no one she could turn to during this time. She did have people that would have listened and be there for her but because she hid it from everyone she was basically trapped.
tater, talking from my own experience, it's the uncertainty of how it will all unfold that keeps you quiet. My family and I were very close but I couldn't bring myself to tell them. Not only because I knew they'd push me to leave him and I was still trying to get him to stop but because suddenly I'd be alone. For the first time in my life, I'd be living by myself. I'd met my husband as a teen and married at nineteen so went straight from my parent's to the marital home. That frightened me too, upsetting the status quo.
Would any of them have said come stay with me? I didn't know. They all had their own families to contend with. That's the thing, unless you broach the subject you don't know, but if you do and after the initial denouncements by your family you're left out on a limb, you've got no one to blame but yourself because you didn't keep quiet. The fear of abandonment after a short period by them when it was no longer news was a very real one for me. Also the thought of them pumping me for information on it all stilled my tongue. I'd lived with it long enough not to want to have to relive it all and justify why I hadn't said anything. I don't doubt for a moment she struggled mentally with whether to tell or not. I went through the most awful depression and weight loss through sheer stress throughout the time. It's just a very very hard situation in so many ways.
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Re: Will power
04/15/2008 04:31 PM
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You know what, I think you have to be scared badly enough to quit, seriously. I feel it takes seeing someone close to you having a cancer scare or heart attack or similar to bring home to you how dangerous it really is. I'd be a liar if I said seeing my dad so terribly ill didn't have an effect on me, and he'd smoked since he was barely ten years old. Until something happens that frightens you enough, whether consciously or subconsciously, you'll continue. That's my experience anyway.
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Re: Meth Rehab?
04/15/2008 03:03 PM
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Since crystal meth is made from so many different poisonous chemicals, I would guess it's going to take some time for doctors to have any kind of successful treatment modalities. I wonder about those who huff glue and aerosol cans; I've never heard of any kind of specialized treatment for them either.
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Re: Attitude - better or worse?
04/15/2008 02:58 PM
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Justintime, I think, mentioned depression figuring in people's addictions, and I have to say that I never knew someone addicted who didn't have that underlying depression. Since most antidepressants give a person a lighter mood, I guess they can't be given to those in recovery?
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Re: A very sad story
04/15/2008 02:52 PM
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My sweet father-in-law already had a weak heart from rheumatic fever as a child, but he drank alot (he was a bartender) and chain-smoked filterless cigarettes. He had a triple by-pass when it was a relatively new procedure, and it gave him perhaps two or three more years. He dropped dead in his garden early in the morning, and his wife found him and came screaming to our house (we lived on the next block at the time). My husband ran to his dad and he told me that he knew that his dad was dead but attempted CPR until the ambulance came. Our kids had already gone to school so they missed this part. We decided we'd let them finish their schoolday and waited for them to come home so we could tell them. Our son (who was about eight at the time) came in and said, "What happened to grandpa? The little kid across the street said grandpa was laying in his yard and then an ambulance came." Well, there weren't a whole lot of ways after that to try and tell him kindly. When we told him grandpa was dead he went in his room and cried for hours. Our daughter was six and hadn't a very good grasp on life and death, but she was terribly upset that her big brother and Daddy were so sad and she asked me what we could do to make them happy.
If my father-in-law could have his way he would never have things go the way they did, but by the end of his life he hadn't alot of choice. All the fun the kids had with their grandpa was sort of overshadowed to this day, and usually when they speak of him they speak of his death. Our son, who was wearing a jacket that grandpa had given him, still has it to this day, laid away.
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Re: Social Pressure
04/15/2008 01:35 PM
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For some people, it does. My area put in gradual bans over the last few years so that smoking is only allowed in bars whereas before, there was still even an area *inside* the hospital that people could smoke. Some employees ended up quitting smoking, and others are just still bitter that they have to walk a block away to have a smoke break (because they put in parameters around the area outside that are smoke-free as well).
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Re: Tranquilliser addiction
04/14/2008 07:43 PM
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When I worked in the medical field, there was always the story of someone who had used to work at the clinic who had gone round the twist with an unlocked meds cupboard. They would do all kinds of tricks to get their hands on either pain pills or tranquilisers. When you went to work at another clinic, there was always a picture of a woman they would show you with a word of warning; lock the med cabinets and understand that this person will try to make friends to get her hand on the closet key.
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Re: Can you ever trust them again?
04/14/2008 07:35 PM
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For myself, I don't know if I could ever trust anyone who gets clean; I don't have a friend or loved one who ever totally got clean again after doing drugs or alcohol to such an extent. I don't think I could be that trusting and loving again.
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Re: Codependency
04/14/2008 05:15 PM
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I think this has become my favorite thread. I have personal experience with this. My parents never drank, so growing up alcohol wasn't an issue in our home. But, I do have a brother that is on his third DUI and my parents continue to make excuses for him such as, "He was within the legal limit. The cop ran the test wrong." 
Recently, I was having problems with my 17 year old breaking curfew and skipping school. My parents offered to have him stay with them. He was only there a week. During that time he skipped school twice and was late coming home. My mother's response was to make excuses for his behavior. I am still shocked. Growing up I didn't really see my mother as an enabler, because she didn't behave this way with me. In our family it is a gender issue. She seems to do this with her sons and grandsons when they misbehave. It infuriates me.
I haven't really figured out how to fix the problem with my son, but I know that making excuses for him isn't the solution. Currently, he is living with his dad until he turns 18. That seems to be going well.
SageMother wrote:Green-Moo wrote:we have to remember that talking openly about addicition and dependancy is a fairly new phenomena. So for someone of our parent's generation it is doubly hard to admit that there is a problem.
Depending on the era the parents are coming from, what is unacceptable now was acceptable during most of their adult lives. Many of the drugs that are illegal now, weren't when they hit adulthood. The amount of alcohol one consumed without being accused of addiction, was a lot different as well. I think people tend to forget this.
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Re: Codependency
04/14/2008 04:59 PM
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"Enabling" is a concept I learned about at least 15 years ago when I worked at an alternative high-school. I have only recently started hearing the term Codependency. I see them as two very different things, because in my mind "enabling" is an activity done to cover and allow an addiction. Some of the literature I've read on codependency criticize positive personality traits such as putting other peoples needs before our own. Being caring, compasionate, or giving, is looked down on. I guess it bothers me because these are typically maternal characteristics. I truly think they are a gift, as long as they don't include denial, and enabling.
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Social Pressure
04/14/2008 04:50 PM
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In my area there are now laws to ban smoking in the workplace, people can no longer smoke in pubs or in public buildings. Smokers are more or less banished to the street or to their own homes. As a non smoker it has obvious advantages for me, but I wonder if it helps smokers to give up or reduce their dependence on cigarettes? How do smokers feel about it?
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Re: Codependency
04/14/2008 04:41 PM
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Green-Moo wrote:we have to remember that talking openly about addicition and dependancy is a fairly new phenomena. So for someone of our parent's generation it is doubly hard to admit that there is a problem.
Depending on the era the parents are coming from, what is unacceptable now was acceptable during most of their adult lives. Many of the drugs that are illegal now, weren't when they hit adulthood. The amount of alcohol one consumed without being accused of addiction, was a lot different as well.
I think people tend to forget this.
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Re: Antabuse
04/14/2008 04:38 PM
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trick-r-treat wrote:Well, I guess you have a point, SageMother.
As far as the side effects of Antabuse, is it like the side effects you see on the side of an aspirin bottle?
I worked as an EMT for a while and did a few rotations in emergency rooms. I never saw someone stagger in incredible pain from drinking berr or going to their job while taking aspirin.
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Re: Antabuse
04/14/2008 04:24 PM
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SageMother wrote:It usually isn't a choice. It is usually the result of a court order, requiring an offender to maintain antabuse in their system. The courts do not weigh the benefits against the negative effects the use of the drug may have on the offenders livelihood.
Can your courts really make such a specific order so the person has to have antabuse? Here they can make drug treatment orders, but prescribing has to be done by a doctor so a court couldn't specify what medication had to be taken. Surely there may be other health reasons why a person couldn't take antabuse?
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Re: Cocodomal
04/13/2008 08:52 PM
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I think that you need to talk to your doctor about getting off of them and if you need something for the pain go with something that is not so dangerous and addictive. As for your husband, he needs to talk to someone. It sounds to me like he already has a problem. That shows that he is taking them just for the way they make him feel and that can lead to problems.
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Re: Can you ever trust them again?
04/13/2008 08:48 PM
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Trusting someone who has hurt you due to drug use it hard thing to do. I know there are some who recover totally and do get clean and stay clean but there are those who never clean up and stay away from it. My X-husband will never clean up totally. I do not think that he is capable of it and one of those reasons is because he just doesn’t want to. My aunt has been out of prison and clean for a couple of years now but it is still really hard to trust her. It takes a lot for that person to earn trust back!
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Re: Tranquilliser addiction
04/13/2008 08:39 PM
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My aunt use to be very addicted to many prescription drugs. It started out with some tranquillizer’s she was given when she was hurt and it was all down hill from there. The bad thing is that she ended up getting into the illegal drugs and getting into a ton of trouble because of her addiction. She started doing things against her family and then steeling and eventually ended up in prison.
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Re: Cocodomal
04/13/2008 07:14 PM
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It may sound simplistic and sarky, but believe me I don't mean it that way when I say that maybe you should lock your meds away where your husband can't get to them. When I was a teenager at home my mom and I suffered from migraines around our courses, so the Doc gave us each some codeine pain pills. It turned out time that my bro had cleaned us out of our period med. We took our new meds and locked them up and only we knew the combination. At least my bro had enough consciounce to not break into the little safe, and our meds were safe for when we needed them.
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Re: Exercise & Recovery
04/13/2008 07:06 PM
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Yes, Green, you're right. Addiction recovery especially can't assume that one blanket treatment will help all. It seems that so many people who are at the end of their tether addiction-wise seem so hollow and weak, I would assume myself that some exercise might help them, when what they may need the most is some healthy food or some other modality!
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Re: Antabuse
04/13/2008 05:14 PM
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Well, I guess you have a point, SageMother.
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Re: Antabuse
04/13/2008 02:22 PM
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Jewel wrote:SageMother wrote:Outside of the illness, there are also situations where a person can lose a job they maintained while still drinking. Mecahnics and others who work around solvents are at risk because of the effects of the antabuse.
If you get ill everytime you have skin contact with alcohol, assuming you are that sensitive, how do you keep that job that requires that contact? Not the "going out and drinking with the guys " contact, but that which is part of your employment?
That's a good point, and I didn't take that into consideration either. I'm learning a lot from this thread.  I can definitely see the negative effects of antabuse, but what are some of the reasons why people choose to use it despite the negative effects?
It usually isn't a choice. It is usually the result of a court order, requiring an offender to maintain antabuse in their system. The courts do not weigh the benefits against the negative effects the use of the drug may have on the offenders livelihood.
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Re: Codependency
04/13/2008 12:17 PM
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we have to remember that talking openly about addicition and dependancy is a fairly new phenomena. So for someone of our parent's generation it is doubly hard to admit that there is a problem.
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Re: Responsible marketing?
04/13/2008 12:13 PM
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trick-r-treat wrote:Well, from what I have seen, there are not many cheap alcoholic drinks and the ones that are, are usually not very strong at all. And neither are the ones that are more attractive. Like a wine cooler, for instance - who can get drunk off that?
I don't agree trick-r-treat. In the UK there are a whole range of alcopops which are designed to look like soft drinks and are stronger than strong beers. You can also buy cheap strong cider by the 1.5 litre bottle.
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Re: Cocodomal
04/13/2008 12:10 PM
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You're on the right track in that you see the possibility that you are becoming addicted to them. I would really talk to your doctor like the above poster stated about weaning off of them. Sometimes it is better to wean off of certain drugs than going cold turkey.
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Re: Exercise & Recovery
04/13/2008 12:08 PM
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Improved nutrition and exercise will improve health, which will improve the chances of recovery. Will power & positivity are always strongest when you are in good health.
However, I don't think you should burden someone recovering from addiction with too much 'newness' at once. Some may benefit from a complete life overhaul in one feel swoop, but for others it will be too much in one go.
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Re: Cocodomal
04/13/2008 12:04 PM
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It sounds like you are very aware of the damage these sort of drugs can cause. What justification has your husband got for taking them?
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Re: Cocodomal
04/13/2008 08:23 AM
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SageMother wrote:Somehow, I don't think addicts really think about what is happening. Their continued addiction isn't actually consensual, because they don't evaluate how they are feeling. You realize how you are feeling and that is a good thing.
I agree with what you say SageMother, I think in this case we may be talking about dependence rather than addiction, I don't know. I think that addicts often delude themselves by saying that they could come off of the substance if they wanted to, or that when the circumstances are right they will not need it any more.
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Re: Children and Substance Abuse
04/13/2008 08:09 AM
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Sage Mother makes a good point about legality. I was born at the beginning of the 1960's so my teenage years were in the 1970's, but even then there was so much less to be afraid of. I led a fairly boring existence compared to my friends, but by then pregnancy could be avoided, there was much less worry about sexually transmitted diseases, we didn't know about AIDS and in terms of drugs and alcohol there was little thought given to any long term consequences. It seemed more to do with freedom and self expression and perhaps a rejection of our parent's values and expectations.
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Re: Children and Substance Abuse
04/13/2008 04:32 AM
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Good point SageMother. I hadn't thought of it in terms of the legal/illegal aspects, but I can't help but keep thinking the shift was impacted by sociological factors also.
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Re: How did you recover?
04/13/2008 04:26 AM
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Wow, Ammulu. Your husband must have an incredibly strong willpower and control! Good for him! Your experience made me wonder can we call an individual addicted to a substance, if he/she can simply stop using that substance?
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Re: Can you ever trust them again?
04/12/2008 10:45 PM
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trick-r-treat wrote:I just wonder if anyone has ever been through so much from someone who was addicted to drugs, and then to turn around and trust them. I tried it with my ex and it never worked out, even though he got clean. We are no longer married, but he has been clean now for over 10 years, and I still wouldn't trust him. He might be clean, but he still has a lot of shady behavior. Does anyone here know anyone who has completely changed and didn't go back to their bad behaviors?
It is almost similar in my case too, my ex was more addicted to these drugs and never got clean till date. We too didn't get married as he wasn't and isn't trust worthy.
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Re: How did you recover?
04/12/2008 10:41 PM
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I never had any of the habit and I didn't have the need to recover but my husband had the habit and he didn't need to recover as he just decided to leave and just stopped it.
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Re: Antabuse
04/12/2008 08:36 PM
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SageMother wrote:Outside of the illness, there are also situations where a person can lose a job they maintained while still drinking. Mecahnics and others who work around solvents are at risk because of the effects of the antabuse.
If you get ill everytime you have skin contact with alcohol, assuming you are that sensitive, how do you keep that job that requires that contact? Not the "going out and drinking with the guys " contact, but that which is part of your employment?
That's a good point, and I didn't take that into consideration either. I'm learning a lot from this thread.
I can definitely see the negative effects of Antabuse, but what are some of the reasons why people choose to use it despite the negative effects?
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Re: This Will Be My Fav Thread!
04/12/2008 08:03 PM
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Yes, congrats! I think it is wonderful that you are making progress. You should celebrate every step. Also, I wanted to mention what a good job you did getting back on track. A lot of people make the mistake of feeling guilty over little slips they torture themselves until they feel so bad they give up all together. It very defeating and you did a great job not letting one little slip get you down.
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Re: Responsible marketing?
04/12/2008 04:16 PM
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It is important to stress what is illegal for those under the drinking age, to consume. There are always going to be inexpensive items that may or may not be healthy for people to consume as adults, and, hopefully, children will be aware of them BEFORE they become adults. Adults can choose where to shop based on the presence or absence of alcohol. They should make this choice with their children in mind, or leave the children at home when they shop.
Even though ads for alcoholic beverages might be "uncomfortable" for parents with children, an open and civil society leaves choices to individuals. I do not advocate keeping people in the dark about choices and I do not advocate removing choices to make everyone feel more secure.
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Re: Exercise & Recovery
04/12/2008 04:09 PM
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I believe that people have to find what works for them, and then be willing to change things as time goes on. I k now that, when it comes to having energy, keeping large supplies of vitamin B on hand helps the nervous system, and may take the edge off recovery for some.
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Re: Cocodomal
04/12/2008 04:04 PM
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Somehow, I don't think addicts really think about what is happening. Their continued addiction isn't actually consensual, because they don't evaluate how they are feeling. You realize how you are feeling and that is a good thing.
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Re: Antabuse
04/12/2008 04:01 PM
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trick-r-treat wrote:OK, this is the first I have ever heard of this. But I just think it would only be switching addictions - I don't see how it helps the problem at all.
Outside of the illness, there are also situations where a person can lose a job they maintained while still drinking. Mechanics and others who work around solvents are at risk because of the effects of the antabuse.
If you get ill every time you have skin contact with alcohol, assuming you are that sensitive, how do you keep that job that requires that contact? Not the "going out and drinking with the guys " contact, but that which is part of your employment?
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Re: Codependency
04/12/2008 02:06 PM
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Honestly I think that my Mom's hiding it from everyone and denying the problem hurt her more mentally then anything. She was more of a babysitter then she was a wife. As a daughter that was hard to watch. I understand why she went the route she did but I just wish that we all would have been more open with each other about the problem. I mean my Mom had no one she could turn to during this time. She did have people that would have listened and be there for her but because she hid it from everyone she was basically trapped.
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How did you recover?
04/12/2008 01:02 PM
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For those who are willing to share your own experiences of addiction and recovery, how did you recover? What steps did you take, did you ever slip back into old habits, etc?
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Re: This Will Be My Fav Thread!
04/12/2008 01:01 PM
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justjoy wrote:Ok, thought I should say thank you and post another update since the last one. I'm ACTUALLY not smoking for longer periods of time. Some of you will remember that I implemented a sort of rule whereby if I smoke one day at 7a. I wait until later than 7 to smoke the next day, etc.
So, I've added a bit of additional exercise, at this point. When I do reach for a ciggie, I stop and ask myself, "do I really want this cigarette? Can I wait 5 more minutes?" So far, so good. Although I do have to fess up that my partner had a general anthestic today and I well and I didn't follow my guidelines. Oops! But, I'm back on track, now that we're home.
Definitely just keep it up. It's normal to slip up a little bit here and there, so long as you get back on track, it's all good. Good luck!
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Re: Antabuse
04/12/2008 01:00 PM
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SageMother wrote:tater03 wrote:I was wondering if anyone on here might know more about this pill and if it actually works to help stay off of the alcohol? I guess it is suppoused to make you deathly ill if you drink while on it? I am not saying that it is a quick fix or anything because I really have no idea how it works exactly and if it has shown to have helped people stay off of alcohol. Thanks
Antabuse makes one extremely ill if alcohol enters the body. This means that the alcohol can come into contact with the skin and still create illness depending on the type of alcohol, how quickly it is absorbed, and the person's sensitivity to the effects. The illness created can be life threatening.
It can be life threatening? Wow, now 'that' I didn't know....I thought it just made it really unpleasant in hopes of preventing the person from drinking again, but I didn't realize it could take it that far.
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Re: Cocodomal
04/12/2008 12:57 PM
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Yes, please for your own sake, talk to your doctor. I'm impressed that you started recognizing the signs, but now you really should try to get yourself weaned off of it (after talking with your doctor, of course), because it gets too far.
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Re: Can you ever trust them again?
04/12/2008 12:56 PM
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I 'do' think it's possible, but I don't think every person who gets clean should be trusted, by any means. There are going to be other things in their personality that weren't part of a drug addiction that could make them untrustworthy.
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Re: Can you ever trust them again?
04/12/2008 10:05 AM
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I think it is possible to trust again, especially if you love that person, but there would be a long road to rebuilding that trust. You would want to trust them again, but their behaviour and lifestyle would have to justify that trust.
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Re: Responsible marketing?
04/12/2008 09:49 AM
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We have a small shop opposite our house, it is open from early until late, it sells groceries, alcohol and cigarettes. The young teenagers tend to gather outside and if they can't buy alcohol and cigarettes themselves they get other customers to do so on their behalf. I can't believe how irresponsible some people are. They may say that the youngsters will get what they want one way or the other, but what good does it do to buy it for them. They get drunk and fight and they become a nuisance so they end up in trouble with the police. We probably have more laws to protect young people than ever before, but without community responsibility it will never work.
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Re: Passive Smoking
04/12/2008 02:24 AM
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Passive smoking is incredibly dangerous to others from everything I've read. There are now people being diagnosed with smoking related diseases who have never smoked! They all report passive smoking as the reason for their diseases. It's scarry!
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Re: Cocodomal
04/12/2008 02:17 AM
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Hi Mickie, I agree with everyone that you really should discuss this with your doctor. Perhaps your doc can suggest some herbal pain relief. I've also heard that sometimes osteopaths are able to manipulate joints to help relieve some of the pain. That might be an option.
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Re: Passive Smoking
04/12/2008 12:27 AM
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When I was writing the last post, it made me remember something. My brother used to go out with this girl who had a little girl who was about 18 months old. She was a little angel with curly blond hair. My bro and his gf were almost chain-smokers and this was in the day when you smoked around your kids and no problem. I used to babysit the little girl when they would go out on a date. The first thing my mom and I would do was give her a bath and wash her golden hair while we washed her clothes she was wearing. We didn't love her the less because she stunk to high heaven of ciggies, it just made her all the more cuddly after a nice bath and shampoo.
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Re: Passive Smoking
04/12/2008 12:21 AM
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A blind spot is exactly what it was, Just. I don't understand that blind spot myself. When I used to smoke I was as respectful as I could be, especially around kids. That's just common courtesy, but alot of smokers take it as an attack on their "rights".
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Re: Codependency
04/12/2008 12:16 AM
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I think the reason that there are so many enablers and codependents is because it is what you have been trained to do if the alcoholic is a parent and you are just a kid; that's the way life is and the status quo. To break that cycle is horribly difficult and heartbreaking. I saw my husband break out of his enabling and it was an awful time for him. But he did it, and although it undoubtedly made him stronger, I wish I could erase the hurt for him.
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Re: Codependency
04/11/2008 09:46 PM
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I know I was a co-dependent to my ex-husband. I know now that that is how drug addicts are able to do what they do and just live their carefree lives without worrying about who they hurt. There will always be someone, somewhere who cares about them, and they will just wear that person down because they know that person loves them and only wants them to be ok. And the co-dependency part comes in when that person then has to live their lives around what this sick person might need.
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Re: Responsible marketing?
04/11/2008 09:42 PM
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There was actually a candy sold in stores that has been banned because it looked like drugs, and they didn't kids to be encouraged to think drugs were cool.
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Re: Antabuse
04/11/2008 09:40 PM
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OK, this is the first I have ever heard of this. But I just think it would only be switching addictions - I don't see how it helps the problem at all.
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Re: Antabuse
04/11/2008 09:02 PM
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SageMother wrote:Antabuse makes one extremely ill if alcohol enters the body. This means that the alcohol can come into contact with the skin and still create illness depending on the type of alcohol, how quickly it is absorbed, and the person's sensitivity to the effects. The illness created can be life threatening.
I had no idea what Antabuse was, but I do recall somebody telling me that the sometimes give people this pill in rehab, and if alcohol enters the body it can make you extremely sick. I didn't know that it was life threatening though.
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Re: Responsible marketing?
04/11/2008 09:00 PM
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I actually never considered their own checkout line. I can see how that would be the best way to make sure that only those who are of legal age are purchasing alcohol and cigarettes, but at the same time, I don't think that grocery stores are going to be jumping to get this started.
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Re: Codependency
04/11/2008 10:04 AM
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sometimes denying that someone has a problem is easier than admitting it, because once you've admitted it to yourself you have to decide whether or not you want to intervene. When it's a child and a parent, that represents a power shift which can be difficult to imagine.
Green-Moo makes a good point. When you bring it up, there's no going back. Mickie, maybe your husband doesn't want to have that responsibility and I don't blame him. It's a very stressful thing to cope with. What if he decided he needed to take care of them and wanted to move them in with you or something like that? Once you intervene, even with the best of intentions, you need to be prepared to accept the consequences of that. It's not as simple as saying "you have a problem" then stepping back to let them deal with it. Once that particular can of worms is open, you're in amongst it from there onwards.
I was married to an alcoholic and for over a decade I hid his problem from my family and his and our friends, telling myself I could live with it because he was never violent. Why...I don't know, I guess I was ashamed that my life wasn't perfect. Many times he promised me he'd stop, make a token effort to humor me more than anything and not. I made myself very sick with the strain of it all, having to put on a happy face for the world.
My ex refused to really acknowledge he did have a problem with alcohol right up until I left him after eighteen years together. So even if he or you both plucked up the courage to broach the subject with your husband's parents, it may well get thrown back in your face.The hardest part is not you turning the spotlight on it, even though you're taking the very real risk that they would rather cut you out of their life than admit it was true. It's getting them to actually face they have a problem. I wouldn't fault anyone for choosing not to confront someone.
Years ago, Gloria Steinam said something to the affect that a codependant or enabler is just a well socialized woman.
I think the concept of codependency is truly a disservice to those who are coping the only way they know how.
It is, SageMother, I agree. We all just do what we can to get through and unless someone's been in the situation, I feel it's hard for them to appreciate the complexities of it.
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Re: Responsible marketing?
04/11/2008 08:47 AM
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Oh I absolutely agree that there needs to be more responsible marketing and I'd love to see separate check outs for cigarettes and alcohol. I'd also like to see more checking of identification and more laws that hold the sellers of alcohol responsible for selling to underage kids.
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Re: Passive Smoking
04/11/2008 05:22 AM
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When our children were born my husband told his mum that nobody could smoke near the children. She said that it was a lot of nonsense and it caused friction between them. She didn't smoke around the children if we were there, but others told us that if we were not around she would smoke with them on her lap. In her case I think that nagging about it made her less willing to recognise our concerns. The odd thing is that in her way she loved her grandchildren, but when it came to accepting the dangers of smoking she had a total blind spot. In the end we didn't nag, we just didn't leave the children alone with her. As non smokers we found it very hard to cope with the situation, somehow I think she saw our need to protect our children as a personal criticism of her, it was very hard not to get angry about it.
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Re: The Danger of Beer
04/11/2008 04:06 AM
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You can't blame it on the beer because I'm also drinking some when there is an occasion. I think that the best way to get rid of beer is to stay away of those friends who likes to drink them.
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Re: This Will Be My Fav Thread!
04/11/2008 01:02 AM
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Wow Molly:
Thank you for that post. It is very insightful as far as the different levels of addiction and how withdrawl can be different for different people. I've never heard of mouth sores, but I certainly believe that can happen.
mollyL wrote:When my husband and I gave up cigarettes, I was amazed that it was relatively easy for me but total hell for my hubby! He is always the one with all the willpower, but he was also the one with the real nicotine addiction. I never smoked alot, perhaps half a pack a day, while hubby was working on two packs a day. He went through some withdrawals and complications that were really horrible, such as sores in his mouth. He persevered, and after a couple of months he started to feel good. I asked him once if he craved a ciggie at times and he says he still does, but the memory of nicotine withdrawal always makes the craving go away.
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Re: Passive Smoking
04/10/2008 10:40 PM
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I hate it when parents smoke near their children. Breathing in other people's smoke can cause eye irritation, headache, cough, sore throat, dizziness and nausea. I know when I have been outside and someone has blown smoke in my face I feel sick and too much smoke passively gives me a sore throat. I have known of people getting asthma from passive smoking.
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Re: AA
04/10/2008 10:31 PM
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I think AA is there to help you recover, but ultimately it is the willingness of the person to recover that is important. So if you want to recover, it doesn't matter which AA you go to as long as you are serious about it.
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Re: Responsible marketing?
04/10/2008 10:27 PM
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Yes I think they should definately be more responsible. Supermarkets need to ensure that they label everything correctly and clearly. Another thing that annoys me is when they serve underage people.
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Re: Cocodomal
04/10/2008 10:25 PM
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I think the fact that you are aware that you are liking it too much and might be able to get addicted is a good sign. Because you are aware, you still have more willpower to control yourself. Goodluck!
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Re: Antabuse
04/10/2008 10:19 PM
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Well, the first time I read this thread, I was thinking that you could probably go from alcoholism to drug abuse if you keep on taking antabuse. Maybe it's still better to just have the willpower to stop drinking. Of course, it's not easy but I bet it would be safer.
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Re: Cocodomal
04/10/2008 10:05 PM
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Hi thanks for the advice well fortunately I don't need to take them forever its for a cartilage problem and I have to have an operation to repair the torn cartilage. I am due for the op soon so hopefully I can come off them when all is better. I am trying to reduce the dose I take, but I understand what you say about needing to take them for pain relief because the pain is very bad when I don't take them. Thanks for the advice.
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Re: Can you ever trust them again?
04/10/2008 08:14 PM
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After my father got into drugs, went to jail for a year, and then kicked the habit, he got back on after only three months. I thought that it would be impossible to trust anybody again. I found that it was possible to trust some people, like my step-dad for example, who got completely cleaned up after he had his first child. He has never looked back. It just depends on the person, and their perseverance.
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Re: Can you ever trust them again?
04/10/2008 04:06 PM
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Yes, I do think that you can learn to trust again. I have with my husband who was into smoking pot. I know that to some that is not a bad drug but he was using money for this we didn't have and hiding his use. That was years ago and I can now say that I trust him but it took a long while.
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Re: Responsible marketing?
04/10/2008 03:56 PM
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I do agree with having their own checkout. We do have something like that in our local grocery store. I see what your saying though. My youngest son thought wine coolers were kool aid when we were in a store once.
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Re: Exercise & Recovery
04/10/2008 03:29 PM
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I'm glad that nutrition is being discussed here. I can't imagine that good organic fruits and veggies could do anything but good for recovery. Sage, do you think lots of organics could speed the toxins out of the body, as they help to lower cholesterol levels? I can't imagine that a juicy piece of fruit, preferably warm from the sun, couldn't benefit a body several ways?
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Re: Depression And Drugs
04/10/2008 03:22 PM
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trick-r-treat wrote:Most of the people I know who drink heavily start out being fun and the life of the party. Everyone is having a good time. Then, suddenly, they are depressed and crying and you can't do anything for them. And no-one wants to be around them.
That is exactly what my brother is going through. He used to have a million jokes to tell and was just a funny person generally.Now, He can't get up from his depression, which I understand that a large part of it was the major major surgery, but he is in such a dark place. I've talked to him and my mom about telling the Doc that he needs medication adjustment, but they just blow me off.
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Re: Responsible marketing?
04/10/2008 12:40 PM
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It's really frustrating to see the mixed messages that are being sent. There are juices that are sold in bottles that look like wine, too, and even though they're just juice, it always bothered me because kids can't tell the difference between juice they're allowed to have and alcohol.
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Re: Passive Smoking
04/10/2008 12:38 PM
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Green-Moo wrote:I hear of allot of smokers who give up when they have children, so I guess that is their concern that the children will be affected by the passive smoking that it driving them.
I know a few parents or parents-to-be that gave up smoking, too, but a few of them picked it back up after their kids got a little older. I don't think most really think about it unless they're in a closed space and avoid smoking out of respect. They don't actually quit, though.
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Re: Hello from chocoguy
04/10/2008 12:37 PM
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Welcome to the forums, chocoguy. Hope you find what you're looking for here.
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Re: AA
04/10/2008 08:39 AM
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mollyL wrote:So, how does AA separate the serious people from the posers? Or can they?
I had never thought about that before. I guess most people who attend AA have had to learn to recognise the truth and to be honest with themselves. They may be better placed than most to recognise someone at the start of their journey. From the little I know AA is not an easy option and anyone who was abusing the support and trust offered would soon be recognised for what they were.
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Re: Cocodomal
04/10/2008 08:18 AM
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When my step father had his hip operation the doctor stressed that he should take his pain medication regularly as prescribed, because if you let the pain take hold the medication is not as effective. From what you say it would be a good idea to talk to your doctor to find out how long you will need your medication and if it may be possible to have a different type that did not make you feel dependent. Your husband should talk honestly to his doctor too.
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Re: Responsible marketing?
04/10/2008 04:30 AM
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It does bother me that some of the alcoholic beverages look like they are soda or other drinks, but at the same time, I really don't see drinks that are as cheap as I hear them being talked about.
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Re: Responsible marketing?
04/09/2008 09:31 PM
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Well, from what I have seen, there are not many cheap alcoholic drinks and the ones that are, are usually not very strong at all. And neither are the ones that are more attractive. Like a wine cooler, for instance - who can get drunk off that?
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Re: Passive Smoking
04/09/2008 09:28 PM
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I think most smokers are pretty conscientious these days. They certainly think twice before lighting up. They have to be more aware of their surroundings.
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Re: Passive Smoking
04/09/2008 06:05 PM
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I hope that most people feel motivated to quit. I have never been a serious smoker, but I did smoke occaisionally before I became pregnant with my oldest son. I would never have smoked while I was pregnant. Sometimes it upsets me to see people do this. I had a coworker that smoked while pregnant insisting it was "safe." It's interesting to watch an educated person make excuses that are non-sense for their behavior.
I guess that just goes to show you that it really is an addiction. Some people need a little more help to quit.
I have an aunt that wouldn't speak to her son for many years because when his first child was born, he told her, "no smoking around the baby." It made her so angry that she didn't see him or her grandchild for years. Now, THAT is sad.
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Re: Responsible marketing?
04/09/2008 03:19 PM
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I think that at the very least cigarettes and alcohol should be confined to their own area, with a checkout line all their own. That way it would be very obvious who is buying.
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Re: AA
04/09/2008 03:10 PM
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I agree with all of you, it should only be for the alcoholics only. My sister-in-law was not an alcoholic yet she went to the AA meetings. I don't know what she told them, if she lied and said she was an alcoholic, but she attended AA for a number of years. My daughter-in-law is indeed an alcoholic and definitely could benefit from AA, but the only reason she was going to the one she chose was to get close to the celebrity (I know that sounds wacky, but she's a wacky gal). So, how does AA separate the serious people from the posers? Or can they?
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Re: Hello from chocoguy
04/09/2008 01:13 PM
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Welcome Chocoguy, it is nice to see you here. Surely you can get the desired help on this forum.
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Re: Children and Substance Abuse
04/09/2008 01:08 PM
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justjoy wrote:I think the 60s were a different time and that perhaps the pressures, etc. on us as teenagers were also different (even though it felt like we were carrying the world on our shoulders). I was a teenager in the 60s, but if I had children who were using, I'm not sure I'd know what the most effective way to help them would be.
Maybe we should start a thread for parents who are dealing with kids who are abusing substances.
During the 60's, many drugs that are now illegal, were still legal. The perceived threat hadn't developed to the extent it has now.
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Re: Antabuse
04/09/2008 01:05 PM
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tater03 wrote:I was wondering if anyone on here might know more about this pill and if it actually works to help stay off of the alcohol? I guess it is suppoused to make you deathly ill if you drink while on it? I am not saying that it is a quick fix or anything because I really have no idea how it works exactly and if it has shown to have helped people stay off of alcohol. Thanks
Antabuse makes one extremely ill if alcohol enters the body. This means that the alcohol can come into contact with the skin and still create illness depending on the type of alcohol, how quickly it is absorbed, and the person's sensitivity to the effects. The illness created can be life threatening.
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Re: Cocodomal
04/09/2008 01:01 PM
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It sounds like you need to talk to your doctor about weaning off, and then you need to keep your meds where the husband cannot access them.
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Re: Codependency
04/09/2008 11:39 AM
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sometimes denying that someone has a problem is easier than admitting it, because once you've admitted it to yourself you have to decide whether or not you want to intervene. When it's a child and a parent, that represents a power shift which can be difficult to imagine.
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Re: Will power
04/09/2008 11:36 AM
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A friend of mine suffered a very bad health scare which was related to his smoking, yet he still started again once he'd recovered. I guess what works for one doesn't work for another.
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Re: Can you ever trust them again?
04/09/2008 11:34 AM
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I suppose some drug users never get far enough into the scene to get used to shady behaviour as a way of life. I have a close friend who is an ex user, but was able to feed her habit without resorting to taking advantage of people. Now that she is clean I'm quite confident in trusting her. Even when she was using I was confident in trusting her providing that she wasn't high at the time. Because she knew she could get her fix easily, unlike most I suppose, your money and belongings were safe around her.
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Re: Passive Smoking
04/09/2008 11:30 AM
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I hear of allot of smokers who give up when they have children, so I guess that is their concern that the children will be affected by the passive smoking that it driving them.
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Re: This Will Be My Fav Thread!
04/09/2008 11:00 AM
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Ok, thought I should say thank you and post another update since the last one. I'm ACTUALLY not smoking for longer periods of time. Some of you will remember that I implemented a sort of rule whereby if I smoke one day at 7a. I wait until later than 7 to smoke the next day, etc.
So, I've added a bit of additional exercise, at this point. When I do reach for a ciggie, I stop and ask myself, "do I really want this cigarette? Can I wait 5 more minutes?" So far, so good. Although I do have to fess up that my partner had a general anthestic today and I well and I didn't follow my guidelines. Oops! But, I'm back on track, now that we're home.
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Re: Meth Rehab?
04/09/2008 10:54 AM
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I have heard that meth is extremely dangerous to withdraw from. I also have to agree with Molly that I too have heard that something bigger than one's self and the commitment to that, helps. But I assume that would be after a medically supervised withdraw.
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Passive Smoking
04/09/2008 06:50 AM
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Does concern about passive smoking make smokers change their habits or try to give up? Are issues such as protecting the health of loved ones or setting a good example to children motivating factors, or does it just make smokers feel guilty and criticised?
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Re: Will power
04/09/2008 06:40 AM
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I have heard of people who just gave up smoking like that. It must take a huge amount of willpower especially if they have been smoking for many years. I wonder what it is that makes one method of reducing smoking work for some, yet different methods work for others? I guess it is the end result that really matters
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Re: Will power
04/08/2008 10:19 PM
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My officemate told me that he too just suddenly quit at one point in time because he felt that it was bad for his health as well as his family. This is because second hand smoke is very dangerous also.
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Re: Meth Rehab?
04/08/2008 09:50 PM
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I have watched a TV show, I think in Grey's Anatomy about crystal meth addiction and the withdrawal symptoms look very painful and dangerous. I think the withdrawal can cause the person's heart to stop and eventually die. Maybe the success rate of rehabilitation of crystal meth addicts is low because of this.
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Re: Codependency
04/08/2008 09:39 PM
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Yes I think it is a difficult position for the kids to have parents who are alcoholics and who don't even try to save each other. The children will have a difficult time growing up because it's as if they lost both parents and wouldn't have guidance even from 1 parent.
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Can you ever trust them again?
04/08/2008 08:47 PM
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I just wonder if anyone has ever been through so much from someone who was addicted to drugs, and then to turn around and trust them. I tried it with my ex and it never worked out, even though he got clean. We are no longer married, but he has been clean now for over 10 years, and I still wouldn't trust him. He might be clean, but he still has a lot of shady behavior. Does anyone here know anyone who has completely changed and didn't go back to their bad behaviors?
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Re: Depression And Drugs
04/08/2008 07:25 PM
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Thank you so much for sharing your encouraging story with us. I admire you for what you have over come! You can be such an encouragement for all those who do not think there is any way of getting away from their life style. Maybe someone will look at you and your life and save themselves because they see in you that it can be done! Way to go!!!
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Re: Codependency
04/08/2008 04:41 PM
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Right I think I understand what you are saying. Its funny you say this because my husbands parents are both alcoholics and every time we see them they are getting worse. My husband thinks they only drink every evening because this is the lie they told him and he believes it. I spoke to my husbands mother in law the other day and she sounded drunk. She rang the wrong number thinking it was her daughter. Then she was like too over jolly. When I asked how things were she turned round and said they were great and the way she was saying things was like really too sarcastic. She said it was wonderful how we were keeping in touch when the last time we saw them was at our yearly visit at Christmas and then only for about an hour. The only reason I was speaking to her now was because she had rang the wrong number.
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Re: Children and Substance Abuse
04/08/2008 04:24 PM
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I think this is very important. I think when it gets near the time I will let my daughter have some alcohol with us. It will not happen very often because we are not regular drinkers, but at least it will not be a taboo subject.
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Cocodomal
04/08/2008 04:21 PM
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The doctor has prescribed me cocodomal for my torn cartilage and I feel like I am getting to like it too much. I take it for the pain, but I find I also take it because I like the feeling I have when I take it. I tend to take the maximum amount every day, but am worried that when everything is better that I won't be able to stop them because I like them too much. My husband is taking tramadol because he had a broken leg last year and he is still taking it though he does not need it. Now he has started taking my cocodomal as well.
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Re: Bad Experience
04/08/2008 04:13 PM
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I think for me it was having to go to a Christmas meal when I was coming down of speed I had, had the day before. I tried to pretend I was alright, but it was probably obvious there was something wrong. There was another time when I was smoking cannabis and the following day I was due in at work. The owner of the shop used to bring his dog into work and I was in the room on my own with the dog sorting clothes and the dog kept staring at me so I bent down to stroke it and he bit me really hard behind my ear and wouldn't let me go. Fortunately the man walked in and got the dog off me, but I was terrified and had to go to hospital. The man said his dog could smell cannabis on my breath and that is why he went for me because his last owner who mistreated him smoked cannabis and the dog didn't like it. I didn't even realise I smelt of cannabis. Yeah that was quite frightening.
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Re: Meth Rehab?
04/08/2008 02:33 PM
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The only rehab I have heard about that seems to work is if the abuser can find something bigger than themselves, such as religion, and throw themselves into it. Of course you have to mean it or it doesn't work. I know a person who got into yoga, which isn't exactly a religion, and she has successfully kicked for three or four years.
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Re: Bad Experience
04/08/2008 02:00 PM
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justjoy wrote: My sister was addicted to drugs and alcohol, but was also mentally ill.
I knew a lady like that. Unfortunately she eventually killed herself. Sometimes it was difficult to know whether it was the drugs or her illness that was causing her problems, but by the end i think the two were so interlinked that you couldn't seperate them.
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Re: Meth Rehab?
04/08/2008 01:46 PM
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My understanding is that crystal meth is far more addictive than other drugs, which makes breaking the addiction far harder.
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Re: Codependency
04/08/2008 01:43 PM
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Tater, I'm glad to hear that both your mother and your father are on the way to recovery. To my mind, codependancy also includes encouraging someone (not necessarily deliberately) to abuse in order that they can 'care for' them.
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Re: Hello from chocoguy
04/08/2008 01:34 PM
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Nice to 'meet' you Chocoguy. This is a really supportive forum so i'm sure you'll find the help that you're looking for here.
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Re: Will power
04/08/2008 01:30 PM
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I smoked for over twenty years before I quit. I tried more than once over the years and would last perhaps a month or two then start again. It took staying with my father after he had a triple bypass for it to happen. There was no smoking in the house as he'd just gave up and I think that makes a difference when you can't just light up.
So much of it is just the habit of having them close at hand too. I soon tired of going outside and the gaps between smoking just got longer and longer until one day I realized it'd been a whole day since I'd had a cigarette, so I made up my mind there and then to do it. It'll be my second anniversary of quitting in a few weeks. 
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Re: Antabuse
04/08/2008 01:05 PM
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So many people just need that little push. Like they are really wanting recovery but the actually craving is there. I was just wondering if it would make them think twice if they knew that this was going to be given to them? Then again you have a good point they would have to take it first.
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Re: Did Medication Help?
04/08/2008 03:41 AM
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I'm sorry, I don't know how I overlooked your post, I did not intentionally duplicate your question. I have only seen Antabuse used two or three times and in those cases it was unsuccessful. I think perhaps it was being used as a last hope in these cases and the commitment/ability of the people involved to abstain from alcohol was not sufficient. In each of these case they had other serious health problems which were caused or exacerbated by alcohol and this may have made the treatment less successful. It is a costly treatment because of the monitoring and support necessary, and because of the potential health costs if the person drinks while taking it. It would be good to hear of some good outcomes.
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Hello from chocoguy
04/08/2008 03:01 AM
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I'm glad that I have found this forum because some of my friends have some problem with drug addiction I think that in joining this forum I might understand them.
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Re: The Danger of Beer
04/08/2008 12:09 AM
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ammulu wrote:I think anyone who is wanting to take any kind of alcohol to first think about their family of loved ones and their kids who are their future. Have them only by limiting it to one glass per day or per week, my friend's father has one glass daily and he is a manager in a big software company. This is what everyone needs to be, either don't have it or if you have limit it.
I do agree on the limits part, but I'm not sure to that extreme, per se. I know people who are perfectly fine if they binge drink once a month at a party or who have 3 or 4 drinks with their partner on a weekend. They're limiting their intake so that it doesn't interfere with their work, but it's more than just having "one drink" a night or week. Many people drink beer (or other drinks) for the "buzz" feeling (sometimes more), which can't be gotten off one drink. As long as it's kept under control, though, I don't see much problem with that.
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Re: A very sad story
04/08/2008 12:07 AM
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mollyL wrote:I can so relate to your story. My big brother is 61 years old and has smoked since he was a young boy. He has had a lung transplant and is nothing like the strong man he used to be. He is also an alcoholic, and is drowning all his sorrows in beer. It's unlikely he'll ever see a grandchild, or even be able to walk under his own power down to the beach, which he loves so much.
Awww, that's so sad. I hope he at least enjoyed the beach and such while things were better.
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Re: Antabuse
04/07/2008 11:57 PM
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I don't know anyone personally that has had success with it because there really does need to be willpower and support in place to make anything successful. I have heard that others used it and it worked well, though, so I guess it's dependent on each person really.
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Re: The Danger of Beer
04/07/2008 08:00 PM
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I think anyone who is wanting to take any kind of alcohol to first think about their family of loved ones and their kids who are their future. Have them only by limiting it to one glass per day or per week, my friend's father has one glass daily and he is a manager in a big software company. This is what everyone needs to be, either don't have it or if you have limit it.
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Re: What is Crack Cocaine?
04/07/2008 07:55 PM
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Do people really use it? I wonder how can one stay by forgetting their problems rather than solving them and making their life better but instead worsen it by taking such cocaine. It doesn't solve ones problems nor does it make happy, wonder why some feel the need to take them. I personally don't know anyone who uses this cocaine.
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Re: What is Crack Cocaine?
04/07/2008 07:26 PM
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I haven't seen much "first generation" crack usage, but I see some of the effects when kids enter special education because the parents were crack users during conception and /or during the pregnancy. The damage carries a wide range of symptoms and for some children, can lay dormant for years.
I can't imagine being a user as it seems so distasteful.
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Re: Meth Rehab?
04/07/2008 07:20 PM
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Kitten wrote:I've been told that there's no successful way to get off meth and stay off meth. That rehabilitation programs fail and they're struggling to find something that actually works. Do you know of any programs that actually succeed or is this true?
It seems that if a coping tool is removed, one must take its place. Too often, people are dragged through rehab, then thrown into the world without something to replace the addictive substance.
The reasons for the addiction have to be examined to tailor an effective post rehab coping strategy. With out this, there is no way someone can remain free of their chemical of choice.
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Re: A very sad story
04/07/2008 06:12 PM
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I can so relate to your story. My big brother is 61 years old and has smoked since he was a young boy. He has had a lung transplant and is nothing like the strong man he used to be. He is also an alcoholic, and is drowning all his sorrows in beer. It's unlikely he'll ever see a grandchild, or even be able to walk under his own power down to the beach, which he loves so much.
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Re: Antabuse
04/07/2008 06:07 PM
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That's a good question, I've had questions about antabuse myself. It doesn't seem to be used alot, when it is supposed to address the problem quite succinctly. I wonder if unless someone is there to make sure the med is taken, the abuser can just pretend to take it or throw it away. Anybody know a bit more about Antabuse?
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Re: Attitude - better or worse?
04/07/2008 05:31 PM
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Watching my Father recover from alcohol addiction i can say that there is moodiness but it does seem to even out as time goes on. I will take the moodiness any day over the drunkenness.
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Re: Did Medication Help?
04/07/2008 05:25 PM
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I posted this same question yesterday. I to am curious as to whether it helps with addiction or not? Hopefully someone will be familiar with it.
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Did Medication Help?
04/07/2008 11:01 AM
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Have any of you had any experience of Antabuse, the medication that is sometimes prescribed to recovering alcoholics. It makes them physically ill if they drink alcohol and it can be potentially dangerous. I guess it can be helpful to some people, I was just interested to hear if people have had good experiences with it.
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Re: Tranquilliser addiction
04/07/2008 10:45 AM
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[/quote]I certainly hope that patients with a choice between suffering and intractable pain, uncontrollable mental and emotional disorders, and other conditions that cannot be treated without dealing with addiction to the medication, are being informed of their choices. In most cases, doctors discuss these possibilities but in the end, if the medication preserves function, it is preferable to the disability experienced without the treatment.[/quote]
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Re: Attitude - better or worse?
04/07/2008 10:16 AM
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I'd have to agree with all of you. I've seen mood changes as people are recovering, but I've always thought it's because recovery is such a difficult, long road to travel. I think all we can do, in the way of support to the recovering person, is to cope with their mood changes and try to help them see the goodness in themselves and the strength within them.
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Re: Hi from Dhaka, Bangladesh
04/07/2008 10:12 AM
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Welcome everybody. I agree with kitten - we are growing and diversifying and each of us will bring our own experiences. Each of us will be able to provide our own insights and supports to others as well. Look forward to meeting all the new people.
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Re: AA
04/07/2008 10:09 AM
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I believe there are separate AA groups for children and spouses/partners. I've never heard of spouses or children being consistently in the AA group that is for the alcoholics themselves - except perhaps by invitation for some reason.
As far as talking to someone "sober", it's my understanding that all participants are supposed to be sober when they attend the meetings. I think it's important for them to have the support of others who are familiar with their experiences, struggles, etc.
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Re: Children and Substance Abuse
04/06/2008 08:28 PM
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I am really proud of my kids for not becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol. I happen to know just from the kids that my kids hung around with, that many of them drink and do drugs. And although mine were around it, they didn't do it. My daughter is 24 now, and I know that she has a couple of drinks when she goes out, but she really still sticks to the light stuff, like a daquiri or something. I also found out from my son's friend's mother that recently he went to a friend's house and his friend had bought some weed and wanted to smoke it with everyone there. My son apparently declined and started texting a friend to tell them that he was really upset about that. He never told me about it himself, but when I asked him he told me that he had hoped that I had heard, but he just didn't want to be the one to tell me. I let him know that I was proud of him, but that he should have told me.
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Re: AA
04/06/2008 08:21 PM
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I agree - they may not talk as freely with their spouses being there as they would if they were on their own. They somehow feel more of a comradeship with these other people who, even though they are strangers, they have "been there". But sometimes I wonder how they can seem to help each other, when they are all alcoholics - shouldn't they talk to someone who is sober (or "normal", which is the term I used when I used to ask my ex-husband that question)?
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Re: AA
04/06/2008 07:20 PM
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I honestly didn't think that they really wanted people like spouses and such because it is supposed to be a place for just alcoholics to talk about their addictions and the problems they are having or not having.
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Re: Children and Substance Abuse
04/06/2008 07:19 PM
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I do think that parents need to talk to their children about the dangers of drugs and how it can ruin their lives. As a parent I just feel that I need to make them aware of the dangers and to know that I am always here if they need to talk.
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AA
04/06/2008 06:00 PM
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I have never been to an alcoholics anonymous meeting, but I know alot of people regard it their live preserver, as it were, and make meetings several times as day. I am wondering though, how do the folks that run different AA meetings separate the truly dedicated from posers, or people with definite problems, but it isn't alcohol. I have a couple of examples: my sister-in-law started going to AA meetings. It's true my brother was an alcoholic, and I know that I saw his side in their many fights, but she gave alot worse than she got. She didn't want to go into the group that was made for spouses of alcoholics, she wanted to be in AA, and as far as I know she's still in it. My daughter-in-law's sister is truly an alcoholic, and she was going to AA, but then she heard that a celebrity who'd just gotten out of treatment was attending meetings at a certain place, and she started going there after getting all dolled up, and tried to catch the celebrity's eye. So, how do they sort out the posers? Or do they?
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Re: Children and Substance Abuse
04/06/2008 05:49 PM
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That's true, that the tough "anti" stance is at odds with the kids and their "real lives", I mean the time kids spend at school. There is their social network, the world they inhabit, the place where, except for a few exceptions, it's kids vs adults. We have forgotten what an extremely tough life it is at school. If we are honest with ourselves, we could bring to mind how we really felt as school kids.I think giving our kids a break re school every once in awhile makes for better and truer conversation.
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Re: The Danger of Beer
04/06/2008 01:34 PM
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I feel for you on this. My Father is an alcoholic and his main thing was beer. It got so bad that he was hiding cans of beer everywhere. I cannot tell you how many times he had us kids growing up in the car while he would be drunk. The think in our household is it was hidden. Meaning he hid and snuck it wherever he could. I can say after 39 years of this behavior he is now in recovery and is doing good. I am not to sure what did it but I have a feeling that when I wouldn't allow him to have his grandkids in the car with him or around him without us that it helped put him into that place where he could see that there might be a problem. Good luck to you and don't say never. It can happen where they one day do realize their problem. Not saying that will happen for sure in your case but it is not impossible.
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Antabuse
04/06/2008 01:22 PM
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I was wondering if anyone on here might know more about this pill and if it actually works to help stay off of the alcohol? I guess it is suppoused to make you deathly ill if you drink while on it? I am not saying that it is a quick fix or anything because I really have no idea how it works exactly and if it has shown to have helped people stay off of alcohol. Thanks
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Re: Meth Rehab?
04/06/2008 01:13 PM
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I think that this is like any other drug in the sense that the person using it feels like the need it to survive. I will say that I have heard that the withdrawal symptoms are a lot harder and dangerous. That is just what I have heard second hand though.
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Re: Codependency
04/06/2008 01:08 PM
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What I mean basically by codependency as I understand it is making it easier for the person who is addicted to keep using and not face responsibility. Example would be my Mom constantly trying to hide the problem of my Father's drinking from the family or people around us. I mean it would be quite obvious that he was drunk but she would turn a blind eye and act like nothing was going on. I think I have heard her say "No, he hasn't been drinking" so many times. Now it isn't that way way. He has stopped for quite some time now and we are praying that he will stay on the right track. But if he does fall of the wagon which has happened she doesn't pretend and we as a family now all know that there is a problem and it is not a deep dark secret anymore.
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Re: When does enjoying a drink become abuse?
04/06/2008 11:38 AM
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steppysteph wrote:For me, I think it becomes abuse when you can't do without alcohol. When you don't control yourself and drink way past your limit is also one indication of alcohol abuse. You always have to check yourself and stop drinking if you know you can't handle it anymore.
I remember a fellow who would take his beer to the bathroom with him if he had to shower or shave, getting ready to go out for the evening. It was the strangest behavior I had ever seen, but it had to be the truest case of alcohol abuse I had seen up to that point.
He had lost his driver's license and would argue with people to get his case of beer in the car so he could drink while on the go. Pretty scary.
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Re: Codependency
04/06/2008 11:35 AM
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Years ago, Gloria Steinam said something to the affect that a codependant or enabler is just a well socialized woman.
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous
04/06/2008 11:32 AM
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Years ago, I had a friend who had to stop going to his AA meetings as he became extremely depressed by them. Somehow, I cannot fathom how one goes through them regularly without developing new emotional problems, but many people are successful using AA.
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Re: Support of Friends and Family
04/06/2008 11:30 AM
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One of the problems with supportive friends or family members is their tendency to forget where they end, and the addict begins. This also may one of the building blocks for the addiction itself. A family who has been emotionally abusive in the past, can create the propensity for addiction in its members. The hole blown in the addicts self esteem may be the pain being eased by the substance of choice.
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Re: At What Point?
04/06/2008 11:26 AM
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Green-Moo wrote:IMO it becomes abuse when the treatment is unnecessary or the 'patient' has been coerced into treatment either against their will or by being mislead.
I remember seeing those "interventions" where family members got together, ragged on the addict, and then sent them away to rehab. I always thought this was a form of abuse, much like previous eras where you could be sent to a mental hospital because a relative didn't agree with your particular outlook on life.
Do you feel that interventions are also abusive?
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Re: Tranquilliser addiction
04/06/2008 11:22 AM
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justjoy wrote:What I find appalling with situations like these is that doctors know the risk of involuntary addiction. So why don't they monitor the prescription of them more closely? I get furious when I hear of people becoming addicted to something the doctor prescribed and then having to suffer the withdrawal in order to get their lives back. Where is the doctor then and why isn't there some accountability on their part?
I wish your friend all the best and send her strength and healing as she gets rid of the tranquilizers.
I certainly hope that patients with a choice between suffering and intractable pain, uncontrollable mental and emotional disorders, and other conditions that cannot be treated without dealing with addiction to the medication, are being informed of their choices. In most cases, doctors discuss these possibilities but in the end, if the medication preserves function, it is preferable to the disability experienced without the treatment.
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Re: Introducing Children To Alcohol
04/06/2008 11:16 AM
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Mickie31 wrote:Yeah I think you hit the nail on the head. A lot of kids drink because of peer pressure. We should be encouraging our kids to resist peer pressure and I think that schools have a responsibility to warn kids about the dangers of peer pressure.
Remember, peer pressure is also the tool that binds people to desirable behaviors. Institutions have to tread lightly in this area as once you warn against peer pressure, you open the door to rejecting the aspects of peer pressure that societies use to motivate people.
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Re: Introducing Children To Alcohol
04/06/2008 11:13 AM
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justontime wrote:SageMother wrote:I prefer a more European approach. Teaching young people HOW to drink, instead of forbidding it, would cut down on the binges. Lets face it. people hoard those things that might be denied them later. Binging seems a form of hoarding, to me.
You perhaps have a 'rose tinted' view of the way Europe treats alcohol. According to a European Commission report in March 2007 one in ten Europeans regularly binge drink, and among the 15-25 age group almost one in five people binge drink. Alcohol consumption varies between countries, Ireland and Finland have the highest percentage of binge drinking at 34% and 27% respectively, only 4% in Portugal and 2% in Italy and Greece binge drink. I think you are quite correct that children need to be taught about responsible drinking and they should be supported to resist peer pressure and to choose a soft drink if that is what they prefer.
Note, I said "cut down", not eliminate. Just as people over eat, even those with healthy attitudes about food, there are going to be some binges. My point is that forbidding things encourages hoarding behaviors, which does little to encourage a healthy, workable attitude.
Yes, there are cultural differences with alcohol, as there are with just about all issues surrounding the human condition, but that doesn't justify forbidding a substance. These bans are used to discriminate against specific ethnic or cultural groups, in many cases.
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Re: Meth Rehab?
04/06/2008 08:21 AM
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KyleMyers wrote:Rehab is just an aid to your own willpower. If you don't have the willpower then it's not going to work and I think this is the problem. The only cure for addiction lies with people themselves.
I understand that, but I'm speaking specifically of meth because of the physical control that takes over. It's really not a matter of just "not doing it again"...
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Re: Tranquilliser addiction
04/06/2008 08:20 AM
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I actually hadn't considered becoming addicted ('or' physically dependent) on traquilisers, but it makes sense. I'm glad your friend is recovering from it.
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Re: Support of Friends and Family
04/06/2008 06:09 AM
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mollyL wrote:Another thing I have seen in recovery is that the inclusion of religion can be a good thing if the addict is into it, or feels that religion will help give them stregnth. If a person in recovery is not into it, or has a bad connotation regarding religion, it should be left strictly alone unless the addict requests it. I know of abusers who have walked straight out of recovery because religion is mentioned. Friends and family need to be mindful of this because the abuser has enough stress to deal with.
Yes, I guess religion will really come into play if the addict is a believer. But I was wondering why he would be abusing drugs or alcohol if he is a religious person. Won't his religion tell him that's wrong?
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Re: At What Point?
04/06/2008 06:07 AM
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Hmm.. I haven't looked at it that way. But I see your point. I guess when it comes to doing business, people will do anything to get the business, even to the point of making the people think they have a problem.
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Re: Bad Experience
04/06/2008 06:01 AM
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I had been supporting a lady in her mid 20's who had an alcohol addiction and a previous history of drug abuse. She would be very up and down and sometimes she was horrible, but under all of it you could see glimpses of the person she might have been. Her behaviour became more and more destructive to herself, and her family and support workers just couldn't reach her. She lost her accommodation and took herself off with an old 'friend'. The next day she was found dead with a syringe still in her arm. It was devastating to see her mum and dad at the funeral, they had never given up on her and never rejected her,
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Re: The Danger of Beer
04/06/2008 05:56 AM
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That's a very sad story and it is one that will be familiar to many people. Alcohol has the potential to devastate the lives of those who become addicted and those who are forced to watch someone they love turn into a very different person. I wonder if our governments would behave differently if they were not so dependent on the revenue from alcohol taxes.
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Re: Tranquilliser addiction
04/06/2008 05:53 AM
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Nice to hear that your friend recovered. It's scary to think how you can get addicted with things that should in the first place help you. Too much of something is really bad for us.
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Re: Responsible marketing?
04/06/2008 05:41 AM
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Yes, I think supermarkets should be more responsible. But I don't think they will because being responsible will cut down their sales and profits. They do what they got to do to keep alive in the industry.
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Re: At What Point?
04/06/2008 02:38 AM
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I'm wondering about all the celebrities that seem to go in an out of Rehab like a revolving door. That has to be abuse of the system at least, don't you think?
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Re: Bad Experience
04/06/2008 02:35 AM
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We were at a party where one of our friends, bummed out about something, took a bunch of acid and then got really quiet and intense. We were little moe than kids, and we really didn't know what to do. We were afraid that he'd be busted, and that that would not be the best thing to happen, but we were afraid that all that acid would do him harm. Some friends, more sober than the lot of us, too him to the ER and they didn't bust him.
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Re: At What Point?
04/06/2008 02:12 AM
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I'd have to agree that when a person is forced into a treatment program, then it becomes abusive. People with addictions really should be considered a vulnerable population when it comes to rehab programs. Treatment programs, at the end of the day, are for profit businesses and should be required to prove that they gained voluntary and full consent (from the addicted person) to commence treatment.
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Re: Tranquilliser addiction
04/06/2008 02:03 AM
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What I find appalling with situations like these is that doctors know the risk of involuntary addiction. So why don't they monitor the prescription of them more closely? I get furious when I hear of people becoming addicted to something the doctor prescribed and then having to suffer the withdrawal in order to get their lives back. Where is the doctor then and why isn't there some accountability on their part?
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Re: Is Cannabis Addictive?
04/05/2008 11:12 PM
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First I want to say that I totally believe in Cannabis and what it can do medically. I think that God put the herb on this earth for a reason. However, I do not believe that reason was just for people to smoke it and get high and get the munchies. I do believe, from personal experience, that it can be addictive. I feel that some people become dependant on the calm and soothing feeling they get when being high and there fore get to a point that they can not cope with life without being high to calm them. I do believe that people can use cannabis seldom just for pleasure and be fine, but when it gets to be something that you do daily, you start getting use to that feeling and life without it can become hard to deal with.
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Re: Exercise & Recovery
04/05/2008 11:05 PM
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As Tater said above, Exercise and a healthy eating habit will not hurt you for sure. I am honestly not sure if it can help you go through the process of detox, but I am sure that it could be beneficial seeing how it would make you healthier over all.
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Re: This Will Be My Fav Thread!
04/05/2008 08:49 AM
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justjoy wrote:Ok, a bit more progress! I was in the middle of working yesterday, had a few ciggies throughout the day, but continued working. At one point I realized that I had run out of cigs, but didn't want to stop what I was doing to go buy some more. I actually thought to myself, "I'll run round to the store in a minute." Continued working and by the time I'd finished what I was doing, I'd gone THREE hours without smoking!!! (Got to be a record for me!)
Thanks again to all of you for your support and insight.
Well, done Joy, I hope doing it steadily like this will work for you. Please keep updating us because you are giving others help and ideas about what could work for them.
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Re: Tranquilliser addiction
04/05/2008 08:46 AM
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SageMother wrote:Green-Moo wrote:I think addiction to prescribed drugs of one sort or another is probably a massive undeclared problem. One tends to think that something the doctor recommends cannot be dangerous, but this cannot be relied upon on a long term basis.
It is important to differentiate between addiction and physical dependence. If a condition is ameliorated by the medication, and returns when the medication is withdrawn, that is most likely physical dependence, just as a diabetic is physically dependent on insulin. The patient has to decide which is worse, the medication or the condition it treats. The tendency to lump dependencies in with destructive addictions has to be monitored closely because, usually, people who are not in the throes of suffering are making statements that effect treatments for those who are.
The symptoms and side effects will be different from one addictive substance to another and from one person to another, therefore it would be very hard for one person to speak with any understanding about the needs and circumstances of someone whose experience of addiction is different to their own. Sadly tranquilliser (benzodiazepine) addiction is all too real. There is plenty of research available to show this, but the drug companies and some governments are keen to distance themselves from this because they want to avoid the costs (and the blame). If you do a search for involuntary tranquilliser addiction you will find plenty of information.
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Re: Responsible marketing?
04/05/2008 08:23 AM
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Unfortunatly children will drink no matter what you do, why? Because it's taboo. They're not allowed to drink so they'll do it. Marketing isn't going to stop that in any kind of a short term way.
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Re: The Danger of Beer
04/05/2008 08:22 AM
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I know this story all too well having seen it in both friends and family. It's a sad tale of a life ruined and someone who doesn't want to fix it. The problem with alcohol is people often don't realise they have a problem, unlike drugs...
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Re: Tranquilliser addiction
04/05/2008 08:20 AM
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It's amazing the change dealing with an addiction or a dependancy can have on people. Suddenly the person you havn't seen for years is back again and it's as if they never went away. I wish your friend all the luck of the world in the future.
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Re: Is Cannabis Addictive?
04/05/2008 08:19 AM
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I don't care Cannabis despite having smoking it a good few times, I do crave Nicotine. There's no reason for it to be illegal while nicotine and alcohol are still legal. It doesn't make any sense, if it is addictive it's FAR less addictive than either of these.
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Re: This Will Be My Fav Thread!
04/05/2008 08:17 AM
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Lighting up when you're not craving a smoke is down to habit alone. We smoke alot, we're used to doing it so if we've nothing else to do it seems as good a thing to do as any.
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Re: Will power
04/05/2008 08:16 AM
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I wish. I've tried many a time to quit purely on willpower but it simply doesn't work, it's strange. I have very good willpower or at least i'd like to think I do but smoking just overcomes it every single time.
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Re: click2quit.com
04/05/2008 08:15 AM
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I have to say i'd never considered a website like this or any to help me quit, i've relied completely on my own willpower and that has failed miserably. I've just registered, thank you very much for the link.
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Re: A very sad story
04/05/2008 08:14 AM
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I'm afraid to say these things happen, whether through smoking related illnesses, another form of disease or old age. We all make choices in our life that lead us on these paths and it's how we deal with them that defines us. Make the time she has left fun and memorable, do what she wants to do and spend as much time with her as you can. That's all you can do. There is no sense looking back at the past and regretting descisions, it's too late.
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Re: Support of Friends and Family
04/05/2008 08:12 AM
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TrickRTreat i'm very sorry to hear of your experience but blame him, not yourself. Supporting someone is a very good way to increase their willpower if they WANT to recover. It's always harder to do something on your own.
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Re: Attitude - better or worse?
04/05/2008 08:11 AM
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When you're using all your willpower to keep yourself from drinking or substance abuse, you don't have the willpower left to pretend everything is ok. It's a long hard road to recovery, people are not going to be smiles and sunshine during it.
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Re: Meth Rehab?
04/05/2008 08:10 AM
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Rehab is just an aid to your own willpower. If you don't have the willpower then it's not going to work and I think this is the problem. The only cure for addiction lies with people themselves.
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Re: At What Point?
04/05/2008 08:09 AM
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I have to agree, i'd never considered that Rehab programs could be taking advantage of those with an Addiction. A line has to be drawn somewhere and i'd feel that once someone is "cured" and they are still convinced their not, to be taking advantage of this has crossed that line.
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Re: Exercise & Recovery
04/05/2008 04:09 AM
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I definitely think it's something that would help the process along. Starting a healthier lifestyle can draw from so many sources, so taking care of the body in other ways would be beneficial, too.
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Re: Bad Experience
04/05/2008 04:07 AM
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Another story: One of my friends' boyfriend passed out while watching a basketball game and couldn't be revived. He'd overdosed on 'something', although I don't think we ever figured out exactly what it was, and spent a few days in the hospital before he was finally taken care of enough to be released. A week later, he ODed again and nearly died because this time, he wasn't in the city where an ambulance could get to him quickly. He finally kicked the habit, but it was so horrifying to watch my friend try to hang with her boyfriend nearly killing himself on multiple occasions back-to-back like that.
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Re: Hi from Dhaka, Bangladesh
04/05/2008 03:56 AM
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Welcome to the forum! It seems like so many of us have different experiences that it's great all of us getting together. I hope you enjoy it here.
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Re: Will power
04/05/2008 03:54 AM
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My grandpa had a quadruple bypass done on his heart after a major heart attack. It scared him almost to death (literally) and he never picked one up again, even though he was a chain smoker. I suppose that was more fear than willpower, but he'd had a couple other small heart attacks that never sparked him to quit.
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Re: At What Point?
04/05/2008 03:17 AM
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You know, I hadn't thought of rehab programmes as moneyspinners until you posted this SageMother but now my eyes keep getting drawn to the Google Ads at the top of the page. They're all for recovery programmes of one sort or another & they're all different. There must be thousands, if these are just a snapshot of what's available.
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Re: Exercise & Recovery
04/05/2008 03:15 AM
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mbtaluka wrote: .... but surely can make the person healthy and lead a healthy life ahead for sure.
Yes that's a very good point. If a recovering addict becomes proud of his / her physical fitness and renewed health then I think that would be another thing for them to consider when temptation strikes. Do I want to spoil all my good work here?
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Re: Children and Substance Abuse
04/05/2008 03:11 AM
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mollyL wrote:it's my experience that those who never took drugs as teens are the ones with the abusing children.
I wonder if it's because those people who never took any drugs themselves have the most 'anti' stance when speaking with their own children. We all know that the more you say something is wrong the more kids want to rebel and try it.
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Re: Will power
04/05/2008 02:30 AM
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My god father did the same thing. Just put the cigarettes down one day and that was it! Obviously, I don't have that same strength, but am always amazed by people who do!
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Re: Children and Substance Abuse
04/05/2008 02:28 AM
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I think the 60s were a different time and that perhaps the pressures, etc. on us as teenagers were also different (even though it felt like we were carrying the world on our shoulders). I was a teenager in the 60s, but if I had children who were using, I'm not sure I'd know what the most effective way to help them would be.
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Re: Bad Experience
04/05/2008 02:17 AM
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I can remember lots of bad experiences. My sister was addicted to drugs and alcohol, but was also mentally ill. There were so many times that she would become intensely violent to herself and others. It took a long time for any of us to recognize that she was not only addicted, but also mentally ill.
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Re: Exercise & Recovery
04/04/2008 10:52 PM
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I think if a person has a strong belief that they can get over with this problem then I don't think that they would need to struggle for recovery, exercise might or might not help in recovery but surely can make the person healthy and lead a healthy life ahead for sure.
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Re: Hi from Dhaka, Bangladesh
04/04/2008 10:49 PM
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Hello, I am Taluka a home maker, I feel great to be a part of this forum and hope to share views and experiences with everyone on the forum.
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Re: Depression And Drugs
04/04/2008 08:10 PM
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Congratulation Mickie on turning your life around. I'm another person who believes that depression is at the root of much drug taking. I'm glad you found your husband to help you out of the hole.
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Will power
04/04/2008 08:06 PM
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My grandmother, who had smoked heavily all her life, just decided to give up one day. She put them aside, and never touched them again for the rest of her life.
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Re: Bad Experience
04/04/2008 08:00 PM
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i was with someone who passed out face first in their christmas dinner. It sounds funny now, but at the time we didn't know what to do & just tried to brush over it & carry on with Chirstmas.
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Re: Depression And Drugs
04/04/2008 05:54 PM
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trick-r-treat wrote:Most of the people I know who drink heavily start out being fun and the life of the party. Everyone is having a good time. Then, suddenly, they are depressed and crying and you can't do anything for them. And no-one wants to be around them.
This happened with my uncle who was really happy and never took life seriously but enjoyed every bit of it, but as time passed on he got more addicted and at the end was a depression victim and he felt that none really cared him or his words and things went on taking horrible route. But, at the end before he left us forever he realized how much everyone really loved him and repented for ignoring all.
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Re: Bad Experience
04/04/2008 05:50 PM
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The only incident I remember was that I fell for a guy who just said words that he cares nothing more than me and acted as if he really values my feelings but later on one day proved in front of his friends and family that I mean nothing to him. This left me with a very sad feeling and I was into depression when my friend stood by me and helped to get over with things and now he is my life partner.
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Re: Support of Friends and Family
04/04/2008 05:18 PM
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I have to say that I was always supportive to my ex-husband, which turned out to be my downfall. Since he knew that I cared so much, he would take advantage of that to use me and then steal my money and everything else that I had, until I had nothing and was left out in the cold. I think that is how most drug users are. They keep on doing it, because they know that they have enough people who will feel sorry for them and take them in, or take care of their children and so they never have to worry about being responsible.
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Bad Experience
04/04/2008 05:17 PM
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What was one of your bad experiences? I had a lot with my step dads addiction, but for some reason this is one of them that just sticks out in my mind the most.
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Re: click2quit.com
04/04/2008 05:13 PM
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I have to say that I quit 7 years ago and still have cravings! I just know that I don't want to smoke anymore, so that is why I don't give in. I just worry about the health risks, even though there have been people who smoked all their lives and lived to a ripe, old age.
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Re: click2quit.com
04/04/2008 05:03 PM
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My husband had a massive heart attack at the age of 28 years old and at that point, we both gave up smoking. My mother in law still smoked though and she has that same thoughts about it not being that bad for her. She was in the hospital at the first part of this year and said she would never smoke again. She came back home on Oxygen and everything and after 2 months of not smoking, she picked up a smoke. She is having such a hard time kicking the addiction. I will have to let her know about this site, maybe it will help her.
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Re: Support of Friends and Family
04/04/2008 03:24 PM
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Another thing I have seen in recovery is that the inclusion of religion can be a good thing if the addict is into it, or feels that religion will help give them stregnth. If a person in recovery is not into it, or has a bad connotation regarding religion, it should be left strictly alone unless the addict requests it. I know of abusers who have walked straight out of recovery because religion is mentioned. Friends and family need to be mindful of this because the abuser has enough stress to deal with.
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Re: Children and Substance Abuse
04/04/2008 03:16 PM
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I have several friends who have become absolutely heart-broken over their children's drug abuse. Somehow, being teenagers in the 60s should have equipped us with enough information to be able to deal more effectively with the problem, but it's my experience that those who never took drugs as teens are the ones with the abusing children.
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Re: Depression And Drugs
04/04/2008 12:42 PM
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Same like Mickie, I got myself addicted with Tobacco , alcohol and some other local drugs. The reason behind that was problem in my family. Our parents are on the process of separation that time which realy make me depressed and sad. To get rid of that depression I just caught by addiction. But by now I realises my fault and trying to get relief of it. Although not fully but I recovered a lot.
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Re: At What Point?
04/04/2008 12:39 PM
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SageMother wrote:There are tons of programs around, said to help people through rehab. With this segment of health care growing, it is big money to be made convincing people they are addicted and cannot alter their behaviors without entering one of these programs.
At what point do you think a treatment program becomes a form of abuse in and of itself? At what point do you think programs play on fears and shame and use questionable science to back up their claims?
This is a really good point to mention SageMother. There are many programs that are found every now and then being even advertised on television but I think it depends on the person. It doesn't require to go on with some program until and unless one really needs it. It depends on the will of the person too in my view.
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Re: Attitude - better or worse?
04/04/2008 12:35 PM
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I was never with some person who was recovering, the one whom I know is my husband who had the habit of drinking and smoking a lot but the moment he decided to marry me he stopped it immediately as he knew that I hate drinking or smoking. But, there was any treatment that he underwent and he just asked me for a week time and after that till date (almost 6yrs now) he never touched it again. But, heard that people tend to become a bit tough to handle and moody.
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Hi from Dhaka, Bangladesh
04/04/2008 12:24 PM
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Hi , I am from Dhaka, Bangladesh. I am also a Pharmacist. I feel greatly honored to particiapte in this discussion forum.This forum seems to be like exciting to me as I could share my experiece regarding addiction as i do experiece some cases.
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Re: click2quit.com
04/04/2008 07:03 AM
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Different people require different methods to keep on track. I'd imagine that if I were trying to quit, receiving 'support messages' would probably have driven me straight to the corner shop for some cigarettes!
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Re: At What Point?
04/04/2008 06:58 AM
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IMO it becomes abuse when the treatment is unnecessary or the 'patient' has been coerced into treatment either against their will or by being mislead.
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Re: Children and Substance Abuse
04/04/2008 06:54 AM
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Thankfully my kids aren't old enough to be really affected by the availability of drugs yet. But I strongly believe that the best way I can protect them is by talking to them about drugs whilst they are still young. If I wait for them to be teenagers they will already have picked up incorrect assumptions and opinions from their peer group.
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Re: Is Cannabis Addictive?
04/04/2008 06:51 AM
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I think that it can be addictive, but I don't agree that all users will become addicts any more than I think that everyone who enjoys a beer will become an alcoholic.
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Re: Attitude - better or worse?
04/04/2008 06:48 AM
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Imagine someone taking away something that features prominantly in your life, that makes you feel 'yourself', that you've come to rely on. Wouldn't you feel moody too?
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Re: The Danger of Beer
04/04/2008 06:45 AM
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Beer is socially acceptable, meaning that those who overdo it can be far further along the slippery slope before others realise that there is a problem and try to help.
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Re: Exercise & Recovery
04/04/2008 06:43 AM
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Exercise will give the person in recovery something to channel their energies into, and something to be proud of. I don't know about the medical side, but I'd be wary of doing too much too soon though. Withdrawal is very hard on the body, withou adding additional stresses.
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Re: Introducing Children To Alcohol
04/04/2008 06:40 AM
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I think the countries where teen drinking is a major problem are those where alcohol is seen as a little taboo. If you speak to your kids about alcohol (and drugs) and even let them taste a little with their meal then I think they'll grow up with a healthier attitude to it. Kids want to do what isn't alllowed.
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Re: Responsible marketing?
04/04/2008 06:34 AM
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The problem of marketing is twofold. Firstly you have the alcopop type drinks which are packaged to look like 'pop'. Secondly you have the supermarkets who run loss leader promotions on alcohol which make it remarkably cheap & encourage bulk buying.
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Responsible marketing?
04/04/2008 05:34 AM
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When I shop in the supermarket I notice that they sell some beer very cheap, they also have cider and other potent alcoholic drinks in bottles that look like soda bottles. Some of the colours and packaging designs seem designed to attract young people. I know there are laws to stop young people buying alcohol, but they manage to get hold of it fairly easily. Do you think the producers and supermarkets need to be more responsible about marketing?
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Re: Introducing Children To Alcohol
04/04/2008 05:20 AM
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I don't choose to drink alcohol, but that is a personal choice and I don't wish to impose my choices on others, however drinkers often try to impose their choices on me. I think if children see that it is normal for some adults to choose non alcoholic drinks, they will see that having a good time does not have to include alcohol. Sometimes non drinkers are treated as unsociable and they are pressured to drink. In some circumstances abstinence is the only safe level of alcohol consumption, e.g. when driving, when caring for another person or in some cases when recovering from alcohol addiction. We all have a responsibility to support those who do not wish to drink alcohol and to respect their decision.
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Re: Exercise & Recovery
04/04/2008 03:30 AM
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Yes I bet exercise will definitely help the body to be stronger. It will also give the recovering person something else to do and not think about his addiction. In this way, he can channel his energy to some other thing and help him recover.
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Re: The Danger of Beer
04/04/2008 03:04 AM
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Anything that you consume too much will become an addiction for you. Hopefully your brother could still see what a mess he made out of his life and change his way. I guess he just needs someone to once again try to wake him up and get him to rehab or something.
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous
04/04/2008 12:55 AM
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I think the AA/NA groups work depending on the person's committment to recovery. I too, have friends that swear by these programs. I think the important issue is the support that these groups provide people during their recovery.
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Re: This Will Be My Fav Thread!
04/04/2008 12:48 AM
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Ok, a bit more progress! I was in the middle of working yesterday, had a few ciggies throughout the day, but continued working. At one point I realized that I had run out of cigs, but didn't want to stop what I was doing to go buy some more. I actually thought to myself, "I'll run round to the store in a minute." Continued working and by the time I'd finished what I was doing, I'd gone THREE hours without smoking!!! (Got to be a record for me!)
Thanks again to all of you for your support and insight.
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Re: Attitude - better or worse?
04/03/2008 10:17 PM
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I've totally noticed that about recovering alcoholics. Wasn't it in Postcards From the Edge where someone says to Meryl Streep, "you were alot more fun when you were using"? Sort of a hard kind of statement to make, but sometimes it does seem that way.
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Re: Depression And Drugs
04/03/2008 10:12 PM
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It's said that with some conditions such as depression and pain, people are "self-medicating", doing drugs or more drugs to try to get a handle on their condition, and if not to cure then to moderate.
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Re: Meth Rehab?
04/03/2008 08:21 PM
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It is probably like any other drug. Most of the time, if they have the willpower and really want to quit, they can. But sometimes they keep on doing it, because everyone enables them.
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Re: What is Crack Cocaine?
04/03/2008 08:19 PM
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I don't have personal experience as far as being on it, but I have experienced family and friends who were addicted. My ex-husband, for instance. He was in really bad shape. He couldn't keep a job, could never sit still. I couldn't take it anymore. He finally got clean, but then I found out he was still a jerk anyway, so we got divorced.
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Re: Is Cannabis Addictive?
04/03/2008 08:14 PM
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Well, I don't know too many people who smoke it just "once in a while", so it must be addictive. The ones that I know that smoke it, smoke it a lot!
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Re: Attitude - better or worse?
04/03/2008 08:11 PM
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A lot of times they start moping and "woe is me-ing", and then the next thing you know they talked themselves back into a relapse. It's like they don't really want to try.
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Re: Attitude - better or worse?
04/03/2008 07:46 PM
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Yeah, I've definitely noticed it. Some people are more positive, but it really is a struggle and major life change, both physically and mentally, so it doesn't seem unusual for it to have a negative effect on their attitude and mood.
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Re: Is Cannabis Addictive?
04/03/2008 07:44 PM
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To my knowledge, the substance itself is not physically addictive....the body doesn't become dependent on it like many other drugs. It can definitely become mentally addictive, though, as people become more and more emotionally or mentally reliant on their habit/pot use.
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Re: What is Crack Cocaine?
04/03/2008 07:43 PM
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That was some good information you included in the first paragraph and thanks for sharing your stories. I don't have any personal experience with it, but I do have a friend who seems to be going down the drain because of her love of cocaine. It's gone from being an occasional "for fun" drug to something she's doing more and more frequently and I have no idea how to get her to back off.
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Re: Meth Rehab?
04/03/2008 07:40 PM
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Whoops, sorry for the confusion. I was talking about crystal meth, as it's becoming more and more popular, but harder to kick the habit.
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Re: Exercise & Recovery
04/03/2008 07:05 PM
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I think it would help just to give you more energy and help you feel better about yourself. I don't see how it could have any negative effects in your recovery.
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Re: Is Cannabis Addictive?
04/03/2008 07:02 PM
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My problem with it mainly is where this is at there is usually other drugs around. I just know growing up it started out with pot and then before you knew it was either laced with something else or another drug was going around the party.
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Re: Is Cannabis Addictive?
04/03/2008 06:23 PM
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I know you don't believe that cannabis is addictive but, if you spoke to my husband he would disagree. He suffered physical addiction when he gave up cannabis. He got sweaty, angry and shaky. He was lethargic and irritable all the time. Giving up cannabis myself I found many withdrawal effects and that I would have to say cannabis definately is addictive. I would love it if there were others who had actually taken cannabis and given it up to speak out here. Thanks for all your opinions though this is what the site is for so we can share opinions.
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous
04/03/2008 06:19 PM
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Actually when my brother was totally addicted to cocaine my mum and I went to a group and it was terrible. There was only 3 women and they sat there all night talking about their sons addictions to heroin and when my mum and I was asked to tell our story they made us feel as though being addicted to cocaine was nothing in comparison to heroin and that we should go to a cocaine group and we went away feeling as though we had learned nothing which was a shame because it was the first and last group we ever went to. It was difficult for my mum to attend the group anyway and she was desperate not knowing what to do about my brother. In the end she had to get her own information.
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Re: Introducing Children To Alcohol
04/03/2008 06:16 PM
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Yeah I think you hit the nail on the head. A lot of kids drink because of peer pressure. We should be encouraging our kids to resist peer pressure and I think that schools have a responsibility to warn kids about the dangers of peer pressure.
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Re: Depression And Drugs
04/03/2008 06:14 PM
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Hi thanks for all your encouraging posts this is a great site and one that I am glad to be a part of. You are all amazing in your own ways and don't forget that. All of us has come from somewhere. We may all have different stories but, we are all amazing in our own ways.
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Re: Hello from Texas
04/03/2008 06:12 PM
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Hi I am a wife and mother to 1 daughter aged 2. I knew a friend who went to Texas and have heard good things about it, it must be nice living there. I am sorry to hear about your step father. It is not good when programmes are forced on people it is better when they ask for help themselves that is probably why none of them have worked. I worked for a while in the line of counselling and got to quite a high level. Anyway good to see you here and hope to speak soon.
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Re: Exercise & Recovery
04/03/2008 02:49 PM
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Exercise may or may not remove toxins quicker as the body produces some of its own toxins during exercise. The key would be the overall health of the subject before entering recovery.
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Re: Attitude - better or worse?
04/03/2008 02:45 PM
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I have noticed mood issues in people going through recovery and always wondered if it wasn't a mood disorder that drove them to their addiction!
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Re: This Will Be My Fav Thread!
04/03/2008 07:14 AM
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Joy, it is good to hear that you are progressing well with your gradual reduction from nicotine. I like your 'little rule' I am going to apply it to my bad eating habits, I know there are times when I feel the need to eat something for no good reason because I am not hungry.
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Re: Introducing Children To Alcohol
04/03/2008 06:46 AM
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SageMother wrote:I prefer a more European approach. Teaching young people HOW to drink, instead of forbidding it, would cut down on the binges. Lets face it. people hoard those things that might be denied them later. Binging seems a form of hoarding, to me.
You perhaps have a 'rose tinted' view of the way Europe treats alcohol. According to a European Commission report in March 2007 one in ten Europeans regularly binge drink, and among the 15-25 age group almost one in five people binge drink. Alcohol consumption varies between countries, Ireland and Finland have the highest percentage of binge drinking at 34% and 27% respectively, only 4% in Portugal and 2% in Italy and Greece binge drink.
I think you are quite correct that children need to be taught about responsible drinking and they should be supported to resist peer pressure and to choose a soft drink if that is what they prefer.
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Re: Is Cannabis Addictive?
04/03/2008 06:04 AM
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I think anything that you take in frequently will in the end become addicting. It's something that you would like to have even if you don't really need it.
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Re: Attitude - better or worse?
04/03/2008 06:01 AM
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I would think that if the person recovering is really determined to recover from his or her addiction, then they won't become so moody. But if they are forced into it, then I am guessing they don't really care much if they recover or not and would not fight the addiction much.
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Re: Exercise & Recovery
04/02/2008 03:52 PM
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I'd say that's a safe assumption. It seems that recovered addicts get into fitness quite a bit. I would assume if you started to run, for instance, you'd be detoxifying more quickly, and you'd have alot of time for thought and reflection.
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Re: Introducing Children To Alcohol
04/02/2008 03:49 PM
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Yes, Sage, I was going ask about just that. In European households, the kids are allowed a little wine with their dinners, right? And as they grow they are allowed more. That seems the most sane way of handling alcohol and kids. When I was about seven or eight, my father was drinking a martini at a party and I asked for a sip. Soon my heart started pounding and I was dizzy (I was always a cheap date, as they say, because I become drunkish quite quickly!) A martini has never ever sounded good to me since.
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Re: Attitude - better or worse?
04/02/2008 07:17 AM
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I have worked with recovering alcoholics and I realise that recovery is a very long and challenging process, in fact many would say that it is a lifelong process. It requires a huge amount of willpower, giving up alcohol gradually removes the side effects of addiction but it does not remove the factors that led to the addiction. Perhaps there was an underlying depression in the first place, or perhaps the person is still feeling really low. It takes a long time, but consistent caring, but not smothering support can help very much.
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Re: A very sad story
04/02/2008 06:48 AM
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Joy, thank you so much for your post, I hadn't taken offence at your words but I appreciate your comments. I was trying to explain that people like my mother in law probably became addicted to nicotine before the messages about the health dangers were as widely understood as they are now, and when the evidence became impossible to ignore she couldn't or wouldn't give up. It doesn't really matter which of those it was, most of us think things will never happen to us. Perhaps she thought she would give up one day. What I really wanted people to understand was that by the time the symptoms became noticeable it was too late and when faced with the grim reality of the diagnosis most of us, like my mother in law would realise how precious life is. On a personal level, my children have already lost their father (her son) and I am sad for them as well as for my mother in law that their grandma is unable to play an active part in their lives. Life has many twists and turns and we will all deal with this because that is the way it is, but it doesn't remove the regrets especially for my mother in law.
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Re: Is Cannabis Addictive?
04/02/2008 02:16 AM
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I, too, am unclear as to whether or not cannabis is physically addictive. I do think that it is very clearly psychologically addictive. And, given all the recent studies about the impact cannabis has on one, the argument would lend itself to including physical addiction too.
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Re: Depression And Drugs
04/01/2008 08:33 PM
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Most of the people I know who drink heavily start out being fun and the life of the party. Everyone is having a good time. Then, suddenly, they are depressed and crying and you can't do anything for them. And no-one wants to be around them.
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Attitude - better or worse?
04/01/2008 08:30 PM
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I guess I have to say that of the people that I know that are recovering alcoholics, I don't know if I liked their attitudes better then or now. I guess you just assume that they will have a more positive outlook when they are in recovery, but most of the time, I just hear them complain about everything. They get so moody, you don't even want to be around them. Has anyone else noticed this from their loved ones, or felt the same way?
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Re: Children and Substance Abuse
04/01/2008 08:15 PM
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I do not have children with this type of problem and I pray that I do not ever have to deal with it. In today’s world it is a huge threat and something that us parents always have on our minds. I believe having an area for parents to discuss the issues facing their children today would be a fantastic idea! For those how have kids with this type of problem, all the support they can get is important. For those of us who do not have that problem, maybe we can offer some support and also learn what to look out for to hopefully keep our children away from it all!
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Hello from Texas
04/01/2008 08:09 PM
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Hello everyone! I am a wife and mother to two kiddos. I am from Texas and very glad to have found this forum. I have had a lot of personal problems due to my step father being addicted to drugs. He has been through many different programs. But they have always been forced upon him. I am really interested in getting to know everyone here and learning more about dealing with addictions. I have also considered getting into counseling, general, but that would include drug addictions. I believe this forum could be a great help to me!
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Re: Is Cannabis Addictive?
04/01/2008 07:16 PM
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I don't think cannabis is actually addictive, but I think people can be convinced they are addicted to it.
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Re: Meth Rehab?
04/01/2008 07:13 PM
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Are you talking about methadone or are you talking about crystal meth? Both substances have been called "meth" over the years.
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Re: Support of Friends and Family
04/01/2008 07:09 PM
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This really depends on the person and their relationship with their family. Where the family heaps disapproval on the person, the family should be excluded.
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Re: Introducing Children To Alcohol
04/01/2008 07:08 PM
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I prefer a more European approach. Teaching young people HOW to drink, instead of forbidding it, would cut down on the binges. Lets face it. people hoard those things that might be denied them later. Binging seems a form of hoarding, to me.
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Re: Depression And Drugs
04/01/2008 07:05 PM
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jeevanln wrote:I think all drug use, of any kind has a side effect of depression
More often than not, it is depression that triggers use in the first place. The sense of powerlessness over other areas of life will lead many to self medicate whether it is in the form of drugs or food. When the effect of the substance wears off, the depression may feel worse, but for some people, they are actually retuning to the state of mind present that triggered the self medication.
Every situation is different.
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Re: Depression And Drugs
04/01/2008 03:37 PM
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Reading your post was like reading the story of my husband life. He wound up very depressed while using and it just got worse towards the end. Happily like you I can say he beat his addiction and his depression has all but disappeared. Thanks so much for sharing your story and I am so glad that you to are in recovery.
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Re: Alcoholics Anonymous
04/01/2008 03:34 PM
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I have friends that swear by it and other ones that don't care for it. I think that it does work if you want it to work. In some cases some people are just uncomfortable talking to strangers about their addiction.
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Re: Depression And Drugs
04/01/2008 02:45 PM
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Good on you, Mickie. Thanks for telling your story. Love of another person or from another person can change your life profoundly, and isn't love the best thing in the world?
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Re: Introducing Children To Alcohol
04/01/2008 02:39 PM
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As a child, my parents were basically teetotal except for very special occasions and they hardly ever had alcohol in the house. I think that I probably came away with a kind of idealized vision of alcohol. My husband's dad was a bartender and both his parents were alcoholic, so he came away with no idealized vision at all. When we were younger and had lots of parties we usually had some beer or wine in the house . Now, we have a bottle of wine in the fridge and no beer at all. This is, I guess, the level we came to naturally. Our children were aware of all the aspects of alcohol that could be good or bad and kind of left them to work it out, with the caveats that there was absolutely no drinking and driving, and they have come to about the same level of their own.
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Re: Codependency
04/01/2008 11:55 AM
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Hi, can you elaborate more what codependency means? Does it mean that one of your parents is the "enabler" of the other and don't help the partner stop the problem?
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Re: click2quit.com
04/01/2008 11:03 AM
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My boyfriend smokes after meals and when he is stressed. He is already having problems with his digestive system which I think is related to his smoking. I keep trying to tell him to stop smoking but he just won't quit. He quits for a day but starts it again. He even thinks that he'll die at age 45 because of his smoking habit but he just won't quit. I'll tell him to visit the website just in case it will get through to him.
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Re: Introducing Children To Alcohol
04/01/2008 10:31 AM
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I think you could let them taste a bit of the alcohol during special occasions. This will make alcohol not very intriguing because they have tried it out. But I think you should only do this if you know your child is responsible and he/she is capable of understanding these things. I would say at around 13 years old is ok. But each child matures differently so it would be at your own discretion.
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Re: Support of Friends and Family
04/01/2008 09:04 AM
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justontime wrote:Support, encouragement and unconditional love is priceless in the recovery process, but family and friends may have been devastated and traumatised by the impact of the addict's behaviour on their own lives. They may not be in a position to offer meaningful support until they have received help and support to overcome their own feelings.
Yes you are right. Parents might have resentments toward their child who got addicted and could possibly just go to the recovery center to berate their child. Parents should compose themselves first and just be supportive and encouraging in whatever small steps to recovery the patient has achieved.
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click2quit.com
04/01/2008 08:35 AM
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We all know that smoking is bad for us yet we still do it. Fortunately I gave up over 5 years ago now, but when I was smoking the dangers didn’t really bother me. I thought I was immortal and that I would not fall into the danger categories. Still in the back of my mind I must have worried about the dangers because I gave up. I had tried to give up on numerous occasions, but I always ended up smoking again.
It has been over 5 years now and the addiction doesn’t get to me anymore. I mean there are still days when I think of having one, but I know that if I smoked just 1 then I would be addicted again and I would rather not go through all that again so I refrain.
Fortunately none of my friends smoke so it isn’t difficult. Tobacco has been growing on both American continents since about 6000 BC and began being used by native cultures at about 3000 BC. Smoking is known to be the principal avoidable cause of premature deaths in the UK. With the smoking ban it has become easier not to become addicted again as I don’t have to smell tobacco smoke unless I am out and someone blows it in my face. I hate that. I hate people smoking near my daughter and I hate it when I see parents smoking near their children.
Obviously if you are addicted to tobacco you cannot help it, but please don’t smoke near children. The website I give to you is one that offers a free plan to help you give up smoking. I hope that you find this useful.
http://www.click2quit.com/ Your Click2Quit Plan will help keep you on track when you're quitting, though regular support messages.
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What is Crack Cocaine?
04/01/2008 07:56 AM
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Cocaine is an alkaloid found in leaves of the South American shrub Erythroxylon coca. The drug acts by making the user high and exhilarated. The user feels as though they can take on the world and forget about any problems. Cocaine often feels like an escape because it makes the user forget their problems and feel happy. Come downs are particularly bad and the user often suffers from mood swings. The dangers of this drug are severe and include though not restricted to heart attack or stroke, which can result in sudden death. Physical symptoms of a cocaine user include constricted blood vessels, dilated pupils, and increased temperature, heart rate, and blood pressure. Pure cocaine was first used in the 1880s it was used purely for operations on the eye, nose, and throat. Cocaine was then used as an aesthetic and its ability to constrict blood vessels and limit bleeding.
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Re: Introducing Children To Alcohol
04/01/2008 07:26 AM
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Thanks for replying to my post. Yes, it is difficult as you don't know what to do for the best. Fortunately my daughter is only 2 and definately not at the right age to drink alcohol. My husband and I tend not to drink alcohol because it isn't good for you. At Christmas, New Year and other special occasions we will have a drink. I think I had enough to drink when I was younger to make me not want to drink alcohol. That and having to watch my inlaws getting yellower and yellower because of liver damage caused by permanent drinking. It sounds like you have done well with your children.
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Re: Introducing Children To Alcohol
04/01/2008 05:34 AM
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That is a very interesting question and I am not sure that there are any 'right' answers. I have three children who are now teenagers, I am teetotal and so was their father (he died) and we do not have alcohol in the house. I have explained to the children that I have made a personal choice not to drink alcohol, but that some people liked to have the occasional drink in a social situation. At Christmas and family events I would let them have a little taste if relatives had alcohol, because I didn't want them to see it as forbidden. I have also made them aware of the addictive nature of alcohol and the physical and personal damage that it can do. Two of my children are of the legal age to drink alcohol, the first is adamant that she will never drink, the second does not drink but may want to later, she thinks it is a waste of money. The youngest is not yet old enough, but he says that he may choose to drink occasionally when he is older. I hope I have given them the tools to make responsible decisions that work for them.
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Re: Children and Substance Abuse
04/01/2008 05:14 AM
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I have teenage children and it is something I worry about, but to be honest when you have children you worry about so many things. My children seem very sensible and responsible but there are lots of pressures on young people. I think it is very important that we talk to our children about the dangers, but also we need to have an open and honest relationship with our children. If they know they are loved unconditionally and if we have supported them with little problems through childhood they are more likely to trust us with bigger issues. In the end we can only do our best, the rest is up to them
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Re: A very sad story
04/01/2008 02:39 AM
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justjoy wrote:We all send love and light to your mother-in-law, you and your family. I agree with SageMother, that she is now dealing with end of life issues. The primary issue here is not how she's reached this stage, but how 2 live with dignity and grace for whatever time she has left.
I don't criticise my mother in law, what's done is done. I was trying to explain how badly she feels about it herself and how desperately she regrets smoking now. My father in law is very supportive, other than that she only has me and my children as her son (my husband) died of cancer when he was 38. Sadly I am all to familiar with end of life issues. We give her lots of love and support, but there is precious little dignity or grace in her present situation.
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Re: Depression And Drugs
04/01/2008 02:26 AM
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Thank you for sharing your experience, I am sure it will give encouragement and hope to others who are still struggling with addiction. You are right that depression often plays a significant part in people becoming addicted and the effects of the addiction can make the depression worse and make it even harder to overcome.
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Exercise & Recovery
04/01/2008 02:17 AM
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I'm wondering how important exercise, fitness, nutrition, etc. are to the recovery process. I know that the detox programs include careful medical supervision, but even after the initial withdrawal, one can assume toxins are still leaving a person's body. I also know how important good nutrition is, in general. Is it safe to assume that exercise and general fitness would speed the process of detoxification?
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Re: This Will Be My Fav Thread!
04/01/2008 02:13 AM
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Ok, here's the latest update on my campaign! Why I smoke, at any given moment, remains a mystery... But, I am finding that by changing my habits/patterns, I'm smoking a little less! Those of you that are following this thread will remember that I initially, stopped lighting up right away after waking.
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Re: A very sad story
04/01/2008 02:07 AM
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We all send love and light to your mother-in-law, you and your family. I agree with SageMother, that she is now dealing with end of life issues. The primary issue here is not how she's reached this stage, but how 2 live with dignity and grace for whatever time she has left.
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Re: Children and Substance Abuse
04/01/2008 02:01 AM
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Thanks to everyone for the replies. I don't have any children, so obviously don't have to deal with this issue. But I do have friends and family who have children who are old enough to have to cope with the peer pressure, fitting in, being cool, whatever.
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Meth Rehab?
04/01/2008 01:39 AM
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I've been told that there's no successful way to get off meth and stay off meth. That rehabilitation programs fail and they're struggling to find something that actually works. Do you know of any programs that actually succeed or is this true?
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Alcoholics Anonymous
04/01/2008 01:38 AM
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Does anyone have any experience with these sorts of programs. I constantly see them joked about and it seems the seriousness has been reduced to a pun: "Hi, my name is Bob and I'm an alcholic"...."Hi Bob!" How do people still take the programs serious and truly benefit from them any more?
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Re: The Danger of Beer
04/01/2008 01:36 AM
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Unfortunately, that's the case with a lot of people. Many think that it's hard drugs that destroy people the most, but it really can be one "simple" beer after another that tears about people and relationships.
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Re: Support of Friends and Family
04/01/2008 01:35 AM
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^ I agree. There's a huge difference between real "support" and just nagging, insistence, and intense pressure. Depending on the person, sometimes it's knowing they've hurt people and their family is losing faith that pushes them to really kick the habit, get back to the real world, and prove that they can do it to those around them.
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The Danger of Beer
04/01/2008 12:22 AM
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My brother was a very adventurous sort, and the 60s gave him alot to adventure with. I don't think there was one illicit drug,
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Re: Children and Substance Abuse
04/01/2008 12:09 AM
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I think it's important to give information to our kids, such as they understand, from a young age. Kids hear so much about substances and alot of it is nonsense or garbled, so they need to be getting the truth from us. Encouraging questions is I think a very good idea. If we act uncomfortably and try to put them off then kids think we don't know. Our kids know that we are available to speak to them about anything; I think it makes them more secure.
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Re: Support of Friends and Family
03/30/2008 09:21 PM
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I think that friends and family have to be very wary that their "support" isn't helping, or may in fact be hurting. I saw my brother punch a wall one time in frustration because my mom and grandma wouldn't stop "nagging" him. (They didn't see it as "nagging", but the important thing was, my bro felt it "nagging" in the extreme.) The first thing out of my mom's mouth was,"Well, that was pretty stupid..."and my bro was out the front door and on his way to a several-day bender. By the way, he broke his knuckles, but that wasn't found out until we'd found him and taken him to the ER.
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Re: When does enjoying a drink become abuse?
03/30/2008 09:14 PM
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I think two things are definitely warning signs. One, when drinking supercedes the importance of anything else you are doing; for example:"We were going to go to the beach today but we couldn't get up the beer money, so we stayed home." The other warning sign is that the original little bit you started with (like one tin of beer) doesn't get you to that high, happy space it used to, so you start drinking more for the same feeling.
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Re: A very sad story
03/30/2008 07:36 PM
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It is very sad, but I have to say that unfortunately, I can somewhat relate. I smoked for 25 years. I quit and haven't smoked for over 7 years now. But, I do have to say that occasionally I still have cravings. And even though I know that I am going to die someday, if the doctor were to tell me right now that I only had a certain amount of time to live, I would do just that! I would smoke and drink to my heart's content until the end. Unless, of course, there was a chance I could survive. I think we all will secretly know if we feel that we have something we can beat. Then, I would fight it with every breath! That may sound very contradictory, and it probably is, but I just know the peace that cigarettes can give you.
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Re: A very sad story
03/30/2008 07:28 PM
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I'm really sorry to hear this. Hopefully you all try to focus on other aspects of her life and not so much on what her smoking habits have done. It was her choice, and even though it's disappointing and saddening, I'm sure....it'll help everyone if you can possibly move past some of it and remember the rest of who she is.
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Hi, everybody!
03/30/2008 07:24 PM
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I am very happy to be here. I am very interested in hearing things from different viewpoints on addiction. My father is an AA member, my mother was addicted to drugs while I was growing up, my stepfather was an alcoholic and very abusive. And then I married someone that was addicted to crack. When he went to NA meetings, I went to Nar-Anon meetings. I, myself, have an occasional drink. I smoked cigarettes for 25 years, and have quit now for 7. I have to admit that I still have cravings. So, I think I have a lot to learn and share here.
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Is Cannabis Addictive?
03/30/2008 06:19 PM
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For the majority of human history cannabis has been legal. Classed as a natural plant it was thought to cause no harm. Cannabis contains more than 400 chemicals and contains more tar than tobacco. More and more people need medical assistance because of using cannabis and it affects people both physically and psychologically. Although alcohol and tobacco are the most popular drugs cannabis follows a close third. Cannabis as well as being harmful has been proved that it can help certain medical conditions such as Alzheimer’s. Cannabis has been closely linked with lung cancer amongst other risk factors. Children as young as 8 are being targeted by drug dealers across the Country and children are falling into drug dealer’s traps bringing cannabis into schools and targeting other youths. Cannabis has been classed as a depressant drug that can cause psychosis.
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Introducing Children To Alcohol
03/30/2008 06:05 PM
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Being a parent is not easy and introducing your children to the dangers of drugs or alcohol is not easy either. My daughter is 2 now and I wonder how I will introduce her to the dangers. As parents we need to make sure our children are educated and that we give accurate and balanced advice.
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Re: Depression And Drugs
03/30/2008 05:49 PM
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Hi thanks for your encouraging reply. Yes it is good that I am free from the drugs. I also find faith in God helps too.
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